Much Ado About Nothing

Rediscovering Treasures

2010-12-02T20:30:00.000-08:00

Moving is always a fun discovery process. You unpack the important things first then slowly get around to a box here and a box there. I have a general idea of what is in the remaining boxes and there's no real rush in getting to them, but one of my children needed a box for a school project so I grabbed one that I knew would be easy to reassign the resting place for its contents. It was a box of books. Unlike other boxes of books, this was a combination of a variety of genres, uses, and owners. The kids books I shoved onto a bookshelf that had just enough room. The Tai Chi manual went in my headboard with other self-improvement manuals. The books I picked up from the church bookstore were stored with other prospective Christmas presents. And the remaining books were journals.

One was still empty. Another was the one I used to write talks I had given in church. The third was actually complete, covering my college years. The last was a gratitude journal I started in 2005. It had only one entry. That was probably more embarrassing to me than any of the entries from the college years journal - and there is plenty of fodder for embarrassment there. Not so much what I wrote but the fact that I didn't really take advantage of the gratitude journal. That's not to say I'm ungrateful; I'm just not very good at finishing projects, even those that would prove beneficial to me both on a daily basis and over time. I can't recall why I started the journal - most likely an inspiration from Oprah or church talk. My guess is that at the time I desired to express my gratitude more openly, especially to the Lord, and was convinced that writing in a journal would make me more appreciative of the blessings in my life, even when life seems to be nothing but trial and nuisance.

I still find it difficult to express my gratitude publicly. I do appreciate the efforts of others on my behalf. I am personally embarrassed when others thank me for things that I feel were effortless on my part. I don't think writing in a journal is going to happen. But it might, even if it is just for one more entry. Because that is how I see how I have grown over the years.

In 2005, my one entry of gratitude was for a husband who chose an event for me over one he would have rather attended. He even took care of the babysitting details. And after today, it was a reminder of how good I have it. Today I am grateful for a husband who talks too much to our mechanic. It made all the difference in timing and ability to help when I was ready to walk away from the situation muttering a few choice words. I probably ought to tell him.

Puppy Song

2010-12-01T20:49:00.001-08:00

I really need to carry around a tape recorder to capture these moments. Yesterday afternoon Rachel and I were leaving to pick up the kids from school. While I fought with my front door, she waited by the car and watched as our across-the-street neighbor came home and two small dogs exited the car. As we got into our car, she explained to me how she needed a small dog who could ride in the suburban with her. I just nodded and tried to focus on driving. As I drove, I realized that she was very intent on getting this puppy wish. She was singing. The song was being made up as she went along but focused completely on her desire for a small dog who would do what she told it to. I was rather impressed by her ability to perform an impromptu aria and she has very good tone quality as well. Of course she is now embarrassed when I tell other people about her song and quickly hushes me up with the explanation that "It's a secret."

Week Ending 11/28/2010

2010-11-28T20:45:00.000-08:00

This week was short and seemed to go by too quickly. With Thanksgiving on Thursday, the kids only had three days of school and then lazed about the rest of the weekend. I actually enjoy these types of weekends. The only downside was that Neil had to work both Friday and Saturday so we couldn't laze together.

Monday was just school. I cancelled Cub Scouts as the charter school had a field trip that day. Tuesday was more school and Rachel and I went by a half-price book store and sold a bunch of movies and books that we didn't need or have room for anymore. Not really a great sale as the 8 boxes of stuff only brought in $30.00. But that was enough to pay for the pies and whipped cream needed for Thanksgiving dinner.

Wednesday the high school had a half day and Aaron went to a friend's house and spent the night. I got a call from friends of ours needing Neil and I to go pick up a car for them from an auction lot. So when Neil got home from work we headed out to Tolleson and after a bit of confusion over the paperwork, we got the car and brought it back to our house.

Thursday was Thanksgiving. Neil and Daniel got up early to play football with the guys from church. Neil then went to pick up Aaron from his friend's house and shortly after our friends showed up to get the car. Cierra decided that I needed to get a car like it - it's a Toyota Solara. I don't know if they are all convertibles, but this one was white with a tan top. It drove nicely and was very clean so maybe sometime in the future it will be something I consider.

We had lunch a little after noon then Neil went and got Alyx and Derek around 4. We hung out and played the Wii and other video games. Alyx and Derek were doing the Black Friday shopping with their mom and grandmother so Neil took them back there later that night.

Friday was a lazy day with more video game playing and munching on leftovers. I did go visit one of my ladies on my visiting teaching route. She was borrowing my punch bowl for her wedding on Saturday. We talked for a little bit before I headed back home to take care of kids.

Saturday was another at-home day with the family. We had signed up to have dinner with the missionaries, but they never showed so we ate without them. We found out later that they were assigned to work the temple lights in Mesa and the communication about dinner hadn't been given to them.

Today was church, choir practice, and tithing settlement. It made a late evening but all the kids are in bed and I'm ready for sleep myself. Have a great week, all.

Getting Old is Not for the Weak or Weary

2010-11-26T19:31:00.000-08:00

They say youth is wasted on the young. All that energy and excitement for life with no actual purpose. As we get older, we find purpose (hopefully) but seem to lose the energy needed to achieve everything that seems to be so important. Then the body starts to undermine our mind's desire for success. It starts with more noticeable aches and pains after limited exercise. The easy trek around the park leaves us gasping for breath while our little ones run circles around us. The eyesight also seems to be a favorite area which old age attacks. These glasses are just for reading ... road signs and billboards.

The evening news big story was about President Obama needing twelve stitches. Apparently he also was victimized by aging. A friendly family pick up game of basketball turned painful; I can't help but wonder if his trip to the emergency room today was just embarrassing as he realized that even fame and money can't protect you from getting older.

Last weekend Neil decided that the family should go on a hike. It wasn't a hard trail and other than a couple of slips by Rachel, the overall experience was pleasant and painless. Until later. Two days later exactly. I have learned from past experiences that this is the average time it takes for my body to remind me why I don't exercise on a regular basis but should. Tonight I was reminded even sooner. In another attempt at family togetherness, we pulled out the Wii. One of the games includes beach volleyball. We put it on Easy. It came with directions. It was a disaster. The remotes did not respond the way I desired. I couldn't get the ball over the net so I couldn't score any points. On the very rare occassions that the ball did make it over the net, I could not tell you what I did any differently from the 42 other attempts. What I can tell you is that my body has aches where I never suspected I had nerve endings.

I am amazed by my mother and grandmother. These women have always worked hard and just keep going even when their bodies have tried to convince them otherwise. My mother had a hip replacement about 10 years ago now. It didn't slow her down. I think she came out of it with more excitement and determination to live life. My grandmother has cancer. She's been dealing with it for at least the past 10 years. It goes into remission and then rears its ugly head again. She has lost weight, but not her zest for life. Relatively speaking, I'm still pretty young. Grandmother is almost 95 and mom turned 75 last summer. I'm sure life has plenty in store for me and I'm excited to see what I can accompish in my next 40-50 years. C'mon body, don't fail me now.

30 Days of Truth - Day 5

2010-11-25T21:54:00.000-08:00

Something Which You Hope To Do

This I can't narrow down to just one thing. I have a lot of things I want to do that I haven't yet. Some are just dreams with a sense of maybe, some are actual goals I am working towards, and some are idealistic wants with no realistic sense of being able to accomplish. You can try to figure out which falls in which category :D

1. Complete my bachelor's degree.
2. Run for President of the United States.
3. Travel to the Greek Islands.
4. Visit Iceland with my husband.
5. Go sky diving.
6. Write a novel.
7. Learn to play the piano well.
8. Meet the Awesome Ones IRL.
9. Take my family to Disneyland.
10. Win the lottery.

Maybe if I can accomplish #10, I will turn fantasy to reality a lot quicker for some of the other nine.

The Gift of Gratitude

2010-11-24T21:14:00.000-08:00

I have noticed a number of my friends posting each day this month something for which they are grateful in their status. I think that is a wonderful way to start each day and I hope that once Thanksgiving is over, they will continue to give thanks each day.

In the October General Conference of the LDS Church, President Monson addressed the saints under the title "The Divine Gift of Gratitude." I wonder how many people consider gratitude a gift, much less one that is divine. Gratitude is generally thought of as a verb. An action we engage in to express in either words or actions our thanks for the actions, words, or gifts of another. However, when thought of as a noun, gratitude becomes a gift to us from God. President Monson expounded on this idea in his address and as I read over it earlier this week, I was struck by a couple of thoughts.

1. The story of the ten lepers. Those familiar with this biblical story remember that when Christ was on the earth, he was approached by ten men afflicted with leprosy. With no pomp or circumstance, he sent them to the priests upon which journey they were cleansed. Of the ten, only one, when recognizing the miracle, turned back and expressed his gratitude. Now, not much is told about what followed. We know that Christ questioned the whereabouts of the other nine. And the one who returned was told to go his way, that he was whole. I do not assume that the other nine were once again stricken with leprosy because of their ingratitude. Likewise, I do not believe that when we are remiss in expressing our gratitude for blessings received that those blessings will be revoked. However, I do think that the nine missed out on the additional blessing of the Lord as given to the one who returned. He was claimed to be whole. And I do believe that there is a difference between having the physical ailment cleansed and becoming whole.

2. The story of Christ feeding the multitude with only a few fishes and loaves of bread. Another familiar story from Christ's time on earth. Having spent three days preaching the gospel, Jesus and his disciples found themselves with a multitude of about 4000 people. I can only imagine the spirit that attended these people as they ignored the comforts of life to be in Christ's presence. And this story exemplifies Christ's love for his followers as he realized that they must be hungry. He turned the task of feeding the multitude to his disciples who were able to come up with a limited amount of food. And even knowing who Christ was, they questioned how such a little amount of food could possibly meet the needs of all in attendance. I love President Monson's observation, "Like many of us, the disciples saw only what was lacking." What follows is the point of gratitude. Christ had the disciples bring the bread and fishes and gave thanks then broke them and had the disciples disperse them to the multitude. Before performing the miracle, Christ first expressed gratitude for what He did have. That expression of gratitude was paramount to the working of the miracle.

Expressing gratitude changes our perspective, opens the windows of heaven to allow more blessings into our lives, works miracles in our behalf, and makes us whole. A grateful heart is a humble heart as we recognize that all we have is because of the blessings extended us by a loving Heavenly Father. Although tomorrow is the day set aside for thanksgiving in this country, do not relegate all your thanks to this one day. Make each day a day of thanksgiving and accept the gift of gratitude as a divine blessing from above.

Mad Libs

2010-11-23T07:37:00.000-08:00

If you aren't aware of what Mad Libs are, they are basically stories in which you fill in the blanks with the appropriate part of speech without actually seeing the story. What could be a story about a fun night out turns into an adventure involving dinosaurs and flying toasters. I loved them as a child and love that my own children are finding joy in their silliness now. We have a new family tradition.

Each day I write a mad lib. It's generally a paragraph long with 5-7 words to fill in. Sometimes I come up with my own ideas, sometimes I steal from the entertainment section or classified ads of the paper. What I love about it is that my kids want to do this, it's not me forcing fun upon them for my own entertainment.

30 Days of Truth - Day 4

2010-11-22T20:19:00.000-08:00

Something for Which You Need to Forgive Someone

There is one person in my life whom I need to forgive. Unfortunately, I have not yet reached the point of being able to do so. Because this person is an intricate part of my life, and the hurt continues on a regular basis, I am fearful of forgiving because I do not know that it would be sincere at this point. I want to forgive and I want to be able to let my guard down around this person. I want to know that once I forgive, I will not have to be concerned of the hurt being repeated. I know that my forgiving is not requisite on the person asking for forgiveness, and I don't know that this person will ever take responsibility for the hurt caused. And right now, I'm not sure that I can truly forgive. Maybe because I've done so in the past and the hurt has continued. I don't hang onto the anger and pain caused, but each time the hurt occurs, all the past pain comes back and magnifies the current hurt. I am hopeful that one day this will change and true forgiveness will come.

Week Ending 11/21/2010

2010-11-21T20:18:00.000-08:00

Another week come and gone. I've not been 100% at posting every day, but I'm pretty close. I missed yesterday because I had some great ideas but by the time I settled on my topic, I was exhausted and went to bed early.

Monday was my day to help out at the middle school. I enjoy this time interacting with students and adults. Rachel stays with a friend who has two children at home then meets me at the charter school for scouts. While waiting with Daniel for the younger kids to get out of school, I chatted with the duty aide. She is LDS and a member of our ward. Daniel was surprised and asked why he never saw her there. She admitted to being inactive then shared with my her family history which led to her decision to not be involved actively with the church. She did marry an LDS man and they raised their children in the church. They are all active and try to get her to come back. She knows that her reasons really have nothing to do with the gospel, but with the culture of the people in the church back when her grandmother was a child. She recognizes that it is a bias that she just can't get over. I hope to continue to befriend her and invite her to church activities where she can find other friends as well.

Tuesday I had lunch with a friend and she showed me what she was doing to get ready for her baby. That night the Relief Society had a Cookies and Cards activity. I went for the cookies and camaraderie as I don't do the whole scrapbooking, card-making crafty stuff. I had fun talking to a variety of people and learning more about them.

Wednesday the boys had scouts. I don't recall much more about that day. Thursday was similar. I did take Aaron to the DMV for attempt #2 at his driver's permit. This time he passed the test. Cierra went with us as all of her pants have holes in the knees and the weather is finally starting to cool down. It was time to get some new clothes for her. Luckily Rachel is still far enough behind her in size that she can wear her hand-me-downs and still is fine wearing shorts as she is in the house most days. Friday Aaron spent the night at a friend's house and Neil picked up some free pizzas thanks to some neighborhood coupons. We locked up the house and went to bed early.

Saturday, after picking Aaron up from his friend's house and doing some grocery shopping, the family went on a short hike around Dreamy Draw park. After getting back, I went back to bed and Neil watched the kids. Nick had a birthday party to attend at 3:30 so Neil took him there and went back for him later. I was pretty much out of it, but did get a couple loads of laundry done and a load of dishes.

Today was church. The sacrament meeting talks were themed around missionary work. Rachel fell asleep so stayed on my lap for Sunday School and with Neil for Priesthood. After church, I took advantage of meeting some of the members of the ward on a more personal level. I find that I have a better ability to remember names and faces if I have a personal connection with them. We got home and everyone grabbed something to eat. Neil left to go do home teaching and got back in time to get the older two boys ready to go to BYD. He took them over for that, then when he got back I left for Stake Choir practice. I picked up the boys on my way home and now everyone has been sent to bed. And with 5:30 too close, I'm heading to sleep myself.

30 Days of Truth - Day 3

2010-11-19T10:38:00.000-08:00

Something For Which You Need to Forgive Yourself

I've done some stupid things in my life. In immature moments I have hurt others for selfish reasons. For the most part I have tried to make amends where possible and can only hope that those who I've affected can forgive and, if not forget, at least move on. But there is one thing that comes back to haunt me every once in a while for which I cannot make amends and so I must forgive myself.

After graduating high school, I got a job at McDonald's. It became a secondary job as I worked to get myself through college. I was able to work at the Air Force Base during the day and McDonald's at night. Because I went out of state for college, I was lucky to have this job waiting for me at Christmas break and during the summers. After I graduated, I continued working at McDonald's. It was a fun job and throughout all my time I worked every shift available.

Those who remember me from way back when will agree that I was, for the most part, a very quiet, reserved person in public. I was also very honest and tried to do the right thing. I don't recall my exact age when this event occurred, but it has stayed with me for a long while.

I was working the morning shift, which generally meant arriving at 4:30 am to set up the restaurant by stocking up all supplies, starting coffee, setting up the tables with flowers, salt, and pepper, and being ready to work the window by opening time of 6 am. We usually got a rush of people in for breakfast around 7 and this day was no different. The window area was full of people and we must have had all five cashiers running. An older gentleman came to the front of my line, placed his order, and laid some money on the counter. Something distracted him and as he looked away, another younger man picked his money up off the counter. I watched this in disbelief, and though my gut told me otherwise, I allowed myself to assume that perhaps these two were together and the second man was simply playing a joke. When I gave the first gentleman his total, he looked down and saw no money on the counter. He then began checking his pockets and wallet to see if he had only thought he had pulled out the money. The second man then offered to pay for the first man's order and this gentleman was both embarrassed and grateful to this seeming Good Samaritan.

By the time I had confirmed in my mind that these two men did not know each other, the time to make things right had passed, or perhaps, I was just too much of a coward to confront the second man with his crime. I have always regretted not speaking up and making things right. I cannot make it right and though I do believe God has forgiven me, I hang onto this. I know I need to forgive myself.

The Conundrum of Christmas

2010-11-18T11:00:00.000-08:00

I love Christmas. I love the music, the decorations, the baking, the traditions. I love how the world seems more giving and more forgiving. Society turns to service and goodwill to all men. Jesus Christ becomes more important and religion is more acceptable even to atheists.

I'm not a scrooge, but I am beginning to dislike Christmas immensely. The store displays have skipped right over Thanksgiving (I guess not many people actually decorate for this holiday) and are already piping Christmas music to all departments. The infamous Black Friday has apparently started already. Retailers are doing all in their power to get people spending money right now. I get it. The economy has hurt them as much as it has affected individual lives. But I feel pushed into buying things I don't want or need. Gift giving has become an expectation rather than a delightful surprise.

I know I'm not the only one who is noticing this and I have a friend who is so discouraged that she has put her dog in charge of shopping for presents. It's an idea to be considered.

I want to go back to the simpler times. When gifts were homemade or acts of service. When all that was expected from extended family was a Christmas Card with perhaps a family photo. I have no need to keep up with the Jones and all things considered, my children have the important things and don't need the distractions of the latest gaming system, their own television set, or a stocking filled with trinkets which will end up broken, lost, or discarded within a week. Giving gifts just to have something under the tree seems unnecessary and unreasonable.

Guess it's time to pull out the cookbook and the sewing machine and get to simplifying Christmas.

Hot Chocolate

2010-11-17T11:31:00.000-08:00

I woke up with a sore throat so after getting all the kids to seminary and school, I came home and decided to make myself some hot chocolate. I always end up making the water too hot so I have it sitting on the end table cooling down as I stay busy with general housework. Rachel comes out and sees my cup sitting on the table.

Rachel: Can I have some of your hot chocolate?
Me: Sure.
Rachel: Did you put milk in it?
Me: Yes.
Rachel (after picking up the cup): I think it would be better with a straw. What kinds of straws do we have? (Note: I often pick up extra straws from various fast food restaurants and occassionally buy packs of straws from the store. Additionally, some cups we have purchased came with straws and those crazy straws always seem to come home from birthday parties.)
Me: I'm not sure we have any straws left.
Rachel: Of course we do!

30 Days of Truth Challenge - Day 2

2010-11-16T16:36:00.000-08:00

Something I Love About Myself

I've had some time to consider this. There are many things I love about myself, but I felt the one I wanted to discuss was appropriate as we come into the season of gratitude and service. What I love about myself is my willingness to serve others. At times I think it goes beyond willingness and can be considered a desire. Those who truly know me, I feel, would be quick to agree that if there is something they need help with, I will do it if it is in my power. If it is not in my power, I will mull over the situation to figure out if I know of anybody who can help. I actually feel guilty if I am unable to provide assistance, even though I have a very good reason why I can't.

I have been blessed in my life to be in a financial position to help a friend in her quest to Walk for The Cure (Three Day Walk). I couldn't walk with her, but I funded the entire amount she needed to join a team. I have been blessed with owning vehicles which have been used and abused in service. I've moved friends, given them the truck for the day to pick up appliances, and attached a trailer to help Boy Scouts with various fundraisers and service projects.

My husband teases me that I suffer from a disease we refer to as Helium Hand. But I so enjoy serving others and being in a position to help. I do recognize that this ability to serve is a direct blessing from my Heavenly Father and am grateful that He has provided me both resources and opportunities which enable me to serve.

James and Ernie

2010-11-15T20:33:00.000-08:00

So Neil and I were channel surfing. We decided to get cable television service when we moved a month or so ago as we had been without any television since the rest of the world went digital back in June of '09. We had the service long enough to catch General Conference and to realize that we were quickly bogging down our children's minds with stupidity. Quite honestly, they do just fine on their own in that regard, they do not need outside help. So less than a month after subscribing, we cancelled our cable service. However, we had purchased a new television which has digital television capacity, meaning we can get the HD channels in the upper stratosphere of television offerings. Seriously, PBS is channel 103.5 and RTV is 7.2. We get the standard network channels, a couple of movie channels (ION and TBS), a smattering of shopping networks, and a few way, way off broadway cable access channels (MCTV and Pentagon). Needless to say, we have odd pickings particularly in the later hours of night.

So a couple of days ago, unable to get to sleep and taking advantage of all the kids being in bed (not ours for once), we started flipping channels. (Yeah, I know, a married couple should take better advantage of this situation.) The networks were primarily the Late Night Shows with yada yada yada hosting. We came across one of these cable access programs which was featuring a stand-up comic routine of James and Ernie. The filming was horrible. The camera swayed and changed directions quickly enough to cause viewers to experience vertigo. But, like most car wreck scenes, we couldn't turn away.

Most people have probably never heard of James and Ernie. Neil describes them as the Native American Blue Collar Comedians. I appreciate good comedy and, having grown up attending schools which were split rather evenly between hispanics and Native Americans, I appreciate these cultures. (See my post about the Gourd Dancers). I had never considered combining the two, but Neil and I were in stitches. Our sides were hurting from laughing and giggling at the absurdity of the truths being sketched by these artists. Reminiscing about the Rez Dogs, the combination of alcohol and AC/DC, and the horrid haircuts provided courtesy of boarding schools, the act nailed the reality of growing up as a Native American during the 80s. Their message underscores the importance and freedom of living a drug-free, alcohol-free life while camouflaged in laugh-out-loud comedy sketches.

I did check out their website (www.jamesandernie.com) to see if they are still touring and they had some things scheduled throughout Arizona, Utah, and New Mexico in October. Hopefully they'll be back on the road and you can possibly catch them live. If not, stay tuned to your local cable access channels for the possibility of enjoying this act.

Week Ending 11/14/2010

2010-11-14T17:18:00.000-08:00

Another busy week with not much accomplished. I kept the younger kids home from school on Monday because of their illness over the weekend. They seemed to be recuperating so was prepared to take them to the Den Meeting. Instead, Nicholas pitched a fit over belts and shoes so I left them all home and ended up almost 20 minutes late. We had a quick, but productive meeting.

Tuesday I don't recall much of so nothing must have really happened noteworthy. Wednesday was the Battle of Gettysburg reenactment for the 7th grade at Desert Shadows Middle School. I was excited about being able to go. Instead, Cierra climbed in bed running a high fever. I gave her some medicine followed by some water. She gave it all back. Neil had taken the day off so we loaded up Daniel's cannon and Neil got Daniel and the cannon to school. I later took Nick in then came home to baby my daughters.

Thursday was Veterans Day and my Cub Scout Den went to a local museum featuring the history of the Hohokam Indian Tribe. We were treated to a ceremony celebrating both Indians and Veterans. That night was Pack Meeting which quite honestly I would have preferred not having to go to. I enjoy the meetings, but was tired from the day's activities.

Friday everyone went back to school and work and I attempted to empty more boxes and clean house. My visiting teachers were scheduled to come about 11:30 so I took care of sweeping and mopping the front room and kitchen, get some dishes and laundry done, and assess the overall box situation. My VTs finally called at 12:45 apologizing for being late and wanting to know if they could still come. Since my kid run wasn't starting until 2, I agreed. They came and we visited for about 1/2 hour. I'd run out of steam so gave up on the boxes and amused myself with stupid online games until it was time to get the kids.

Saturday morning the Primary had an activity down at the Mesa temple. We toured the grounds and the visitor's center. Cierra clung to a new friend while Nick and Cierra clung to me. We enjoyed a picnic lunch on the temple grounds then headed home. We swung by Big Lots to pick up a couple of birthday presents for friends from the old elementary school. The birthday party was from 2-4 and the family lives just down the street from us. I dropped the kids off, explained to the mom that I had some things to take care of, but I'd be back at 4. Five minutes after arriving back home, I got a call from the mom. Cierra had been bonked while in the bouncer and her tooth was bleeding. Luckily, the tooth had been loose for some time so it wasn't a true tragedy, but try to convince Cierra of that. I headed back to the house, held her on my lap, learned that it was her own brother who had bonked the tooth, and convinced her to let me check out the tooth to make sure the blood wasn't continuing. She agreed only after making me promise that I wouldn't pull the tooth out. I took a paper towel, touched the tooth, and it fell out into the towel. I swear I did not pull it, but this technicality made no difference to Cierra and I was now pond scum. I finally took her home, got her calmed down, and when I went to check to see if she was ready to go back for cake, found her asleep on the couch. I returned to get the other two kids and came home with not just the kids, but an entire cupcake cake, soda, cookies, and candy as well. I was beginning to think they were going to load me up with whatever they could find that wasn't nailed down.

We had stake conference this weekend and I love the adult session that takes place on Saturday night. This was no different. The speakers were wonderful and the messages heartfelt. I felt the Lord speaking directly to me through the words of His servants. Of all the things said, I think the most influential reminder was from President Lewis. He said that if we will allow no obstacle to keep us from keeping the commandments and covenants made, the Lord would pour out his blessings. The spirit was so incredibly strong and I had to use Neil's handkerchief to keep the makeup from streaking my face.

Today we had the general session which ended up being a satelite broadcast from Salt Lake to what appeared to be all the stakes in Arizona. It was harder to listen to because of trying to keep the children reverent, but there were again good messages from all the speakers.

After coming home, I made dinner, had a scout committee meeting, and am now needing to get ready for Stake Choir Practice. Hopefully Neil will take care of family scriptures and getting kids to bed while I'm gone so I can come home and fall fast asleep. Til next week.

Gourd Dancing

2010-11-11T19:28:00.000-08:00

Having grown up in the southwest, tribal dances are something I have long been aware of. Though I do not know all the background behind all the dances, I have witnessed enough of them to appreciate the artistry involved. Though I cannot claim any Indian blood in my veins, I do know the pulse of rhythm as my heart pumps to the beat of the drum. My feet want to shuffle in time to the shaking rattles.

I was searching for a Veterans Day celebration to attend with my den of cub scouts. The Pueblo Grande Museum and Archaeological Park announced an event that was free to the public (score), didn't start until 11 (yay for sleeping in), and included a Gourd Dance. I have always wanted my children to be able to experience the tribal celebrations that I was privy to as a child. I saw this as a great opportunity for them to appreciate another culture, plus it passed off one of the Cub Scout Achievements.

I am not familiar with the Gourd Dance and my online search for information provided mostly ambiguity. But there was the celebratory regalia and a large drum for pounding. We had the opportunity to chat with one of the dancers prior to the event. Interestingly, he was a white man originally from Mesa who had been living in Australia for some time. Though he does not belong to a particular tribe, he refers to himself as being from the tribe of one people. Shortly before the start of the dancing, he was introduced by a member of the Kiowa tribe as his brother.

Side note - this dancer has been learning the medicinal properties of various herbs and apparently Cayenne Pepper has many purposes. Have a migraine? Take a teaspoon of pepper with a glass of water. You may pass out or vomit profusely, but the pain will disappear. I promised him I would pass on the information.

The performance took place in the community room at the museum. The drums began to pound and the dancers began to sway. The chanting started and the gourds (actually more like tin rattles) shook. I was mesmerized, taken back in time to the open courtyard of one of many pueblos. The pitch of both drum and singers rose and fell, the dancers stepped or bounced relative to the song. This is a man's dance, but the women stand behind their male counterparts and dance along.

At the end, I looked at my younglings expecting to see the admiration and appreciation I felt myself. One Cub Scout had tears streaming down his face, unfortunately not from overwhelming appreciation, but, as his fingers in his ears explained, a sensitivity to the loud pounding of the drums. A look at the others told a similar story - their young ears could not handle the intensity of noise experienced in the enclosed room.

Next time I'll have to find an outdoor arena so that they can experience this artistic culture with appreciation. With any luck I'll be able to test their palates with the richness of the food that usually accompanies these ceremonies.

30 Days of Truth Challenge - Day 1

2010-11-10T15:13:00.000-08:00

Something I Hate About Myself

We all have areas for improvement. If given the opportunity to change a physical feature, most would opt to do a little bit of work on themself. If asked about our greatest character flaw, we could all come up with a top ten list. But to name something I hate about myself is not something I can do.

I do not hate myself. I have disappointed myself and others. I have done things which I have later regretted. I certainly do not think I am perfect. But there is just no way I can use the word hate to refer to myself in any way.

I have a very deep-seeded belief in a Heavenly Father who is the true, living father of my spirit. He created me. He knows me. He loves me. How could I ever hurt him by feeling hatred towards someone He loves so much? He has given me so much. My life is so incredibly blessed. Can I return such generosity with ingratitude?

Life is hard. We are human. We make mistakes and we feel resentful when others' decisions negatively affect our lives. We should constantly be striving to improve. To be generous, honest, and kind. To love our fellow beings and lift them up in their sorrows and burdens. To allow others to serve us in our times of need. To accept such offers gratefully and sincerely. To forgive those who hurt us and let go of the pain they have caused.

In order to be loving towards others, to be forgiving of others, we must first love ourselves. There is no place for hatred here.

Who Will Win the Civil War This Year?

2010-11-09T15:18:00.001-08:00

I've never been good at history. I don't remember dates of important events; I can't name the presidents in order; I have no idea when the UN came into being or why; I'm not sure who were the allies in WWI or WWII - I only know that a few changed sides. I do know that the Civil War was fought in the 1860s and it primarily had to do with the south wanting to secede from the United States due to President Lincoln's stand on slavery.

I wish I had a teacher in middle school as dedicated to teaching Social Studies as Ms. Marci Olsen at Desert Shadows Middle School in Phoenix/Scottsdale, AZ. She developed a unit for all 7th grade students surrounding the Battle of Gettysburg. It has gotten more elaborate each year. I first experienced this unit 3 years ago with my oldest son. Each student spends weeks researching a person whom they will portray in the culminating event of this unit. They write letters home, they must do a project which involves either creating a replica of a weapon, uniform, or flag from the Civil War era. Aaron made a rifle and a flag.

The culminating event is a reenactment of the Battle of Gettysburg. I was unable to experience this the last time due to having three small children at home. However, Neil attended and it is indeed an awesome sight. This year my second son is in 7th grade and is a Union soldier. Not to be outdone by his older brother, his project of choice was to build a cannon. This is not a minitiaurized version of the real thing. It is big. It is green. It is very realistic looking. In fact, because of its massive size, construction had to be moved to the front yard because there is no way it would fit either through the house or through the gate to the back yard.

Tomorrow morning at 8 am at the park adjacent to the Middle School the troops will fall in. Students will be graded on the authenticity of their projects, their knowledge of key events and causes, and their ability to once again fight the Civil War. Although history books tell us that the North prevailed in the original battle, there is no guarantee that this year's war will have the same outcome.

Week Ending 11/7/2010

2010-11-08T15:59:00.000-08:00

This should have been posted yesterday, but it was a rough day. This weekend was the Four Peaks District Camporee and as usual, Neil was involved in helping out. He took the three older boys leaving me with the three little kids and Alyx. Alyx is old enough to fend for herself and had a busy weekend with community service.

Saturday morning I took the kids to a friend's baptism in our old stake. We arrived to find that a girl from our old ward was also getting baptized so we were able to catch up with a lot of friends. That afternoon we went to a school friend's birthday party. There was a bouncer, climbing wall, Star Wars performer, and lots of food. I finally convinced the kids that we needed to go when it started getting dark and bickering started up. Shortly after getting home, Aaron and Daniel showed up, having come home from the camporee with a friend. Aaron has been fighting a cough and sore throat for about a week and Daniel doesn't particularly like camping. Aaron was laying on my bed with Rachel and mentioned that she felt warm. She was burning up. I couldn't find the thermometer (it's around here somewhere I'm sure), but she complained of an upset stomach and I gave her some medicine. She was up and down all night but finally fell asleep. As I settled in for sleep myself, I heard Nick in the other room fussing. I went in to check on him and found him burning up with a fever. He refused to take medicine so after spending time cajoling, threatening, and pleading with him, I lost my temper and attempted to make him drink it against his will. He spit it all back out so he ended up in the tub and I took a timeout.

By the time Neil got back from the camporee, I was on edge, lacking sleep, and ready for a fight. It didn't take much as he decided to call the boys names for choosing to come back early. I left him home with Nick and Rachel while I went to church. We had barely finished the sacrament portion when Cierra started complaining about a stomach ache. I had Aaron check her for fever (I'm always cold so unless the fever is burning, I'm a poor judge). He indicated that she felt warm so I took her home and spent time talking with Neil about the overall issues and we both came to a better understanding of what had really happened. I made it back to church in time for Sunday School which was a discussion of Jeremiah, but I honestly don't think I learned anything. Relief Society was more productive as we discussed the Gift of the Holy Ghost and how it differs from feeling the influence of the Holy Ghost.

Neil came to church for Priesthood and met with me and the bishop afterwards to get set apart for our new callings. I'm Troop Committee Chair and he is the Assistant 11 year old scout leader. It was nice to be able to chat with the bishop. I've known him for a while, but not in a bishopric situation. I am grateful that he is my bishop. After that meeting, I ran Aaron around to collect fast offerings, back to the church to drop them off, and then home. Neil took Derek back to his mom's, came back and we had family scripture reading, then I headed out for a Stake Choir practice. By the time I got back, I was ready to drop.

The earlier part of the week was rather uneventful. Monday I helped out at the Middle School in the office answering phones. I do that every other week. Tuesday and Wednesday were just the typical housework and running kids to and from school. Thursday night was Roundtable and I don't remember much about Friday other than trying to get kids to and from school and then off to the Camporee.

I kept the little kids home from school today just as a precaution and am looking forward to getting the house back in order tomorrow. Have a great week.

A Worthwhile Challenge?

2010-11-06T22:52:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine has taken on a challenge called 30 Days of Truth. I looked through the list of assignments for each day to determine whether or not I wanted to accept the challenge. While the topics were varied and meant for a person to truly assess oneself, I balked at committing myself to taking the challenge. It's not that I don't think that it is valuable to self-assess and hopefully improve oneself, I didn't feel that all of the assigned topics were either truly helpful or meant to be shared with the world - or at least one's followers which could be limited to the blog itself or imported into Facebook and perhaps other social sites as well. (I can't speak to more than Facebook as I spend too much time on that site as it is and it's hard enough breaking that addiction without adding to it with more sites.)

Even though I am not taking on the challenge in whole, I did find some of the topics worthwhile and may use them during this month of NaBloPoMo to fill in on those days when normal ramblings elude me. For those interested in the challenge, I am listing the topics below. You can decide if you want to join the challenge. By the way, I will be editing for language from the original list posted elsewhere.

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.

Day 2: Something you love about yourself.

Day 3: Something for which you need to forgive yourself.

Day 4: Something for which you need to forgive somebody.

Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.

Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living.

Day 8: Someone who has treated you badly or made your life extremely difficult.

Day 9: Someone you didn't want to let go, but drifted apart.

Day 10: Someone you need to let go or wish you didn't know.

Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you on the most.

Day 12: Something for which you never get complimented.

Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through your most difficult days.

Day 14: A hero who has let you down.

Day 15: Something or someone you couldn't live without because you've tried.

Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Day 17: A book you've read that changed your views on something.

Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.

Day 19: Your views on religion or politics.

Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident an hour after the two of you had a fight. What do you do?

Day 22: Something you wish you hadn't done in your life.

Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.

Day 24: Make a playlist for someone and explain why you chose the songs. Post titles, artists, and explanation.

Day 25: The reason you believe you're still alive today.

Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Day 27: What's the best thing going for you right now?

Day 28: What would you do if you became pregnant or got someone pregnant?

Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself and why.

Day 30: Write a letter to yourself telling EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

For the Sake of Posting

2010-11-05T19:42:00.000-07:00

Nothing profound to say. I actually started a post about the BSA Scouting Program but felt like it might sound like I'm complaining and anyone who knows me, knows that I am a scouting fanatic. But I am suffering from a headache and don't have the wherewithal to edit anything appropriately. I wouldn't bother posting at all, but I suffer from a condition which makes inane things more important to me than they probably should be. So because it is NaBloPoMo, I post for the sake of posting.

Rachel's First Haircut

2010-11-04T06:59:00.000-07:00

This is a milestone event in any child's life. My mother kept clippings from my first haircut and saved them in my baby book. I'm not quite so sentimental with my own children, perhaps because I'm just not that organized. Cierra's first cut was a trim at the beginning of this school year and I figured that Rachel would have the same type of wait. It's not that I'm against cutting their hair, more that we couldn't stop referring to Cierra as bald until she was almost 3 years old. Both girls have fine, wispy hair. I have long been jealous of those mothers whose little girls come to church with braided, curled, and coifed hairdos. I'm lucky if I get my girls to sit long enough to run a brush through theirs before they tumble into the car undoing any efforts I might have made.

Last night Rachel came into my room asking "Who cut my hair?" Not really the questions a mother ever wants to hear. Since Rachel was doing the asking, I was quick to presume that she had been the victim of a sibling's prank or vengeance. Both Nick and Cierra were interrogated with quick denials from each that they were involved in any way. They were rather convincing so I ruled them out as guilty suspects and went back to questioning Rachel. She so sincerely denied any knowledge of how a huge chunk of hair could possibly be missing that I began to wonder if she had some debilitating disease now manifesting itself by causing her hair to just fall out. This was supported as I ran my hand through her hair and came out with more long strands. The brush resulted in more hair.

Luckily, Rachel finally realized that she would not be punished for fessing up and admitted that she had cut her hair because she didn't like how it was always tangled. Of course after the first couple of snips, she changed her mind and wanted her long hair back. I believe she may have tried taping it back in which explains why so much of her hair was still on her head, if not attached.

I'm not saving her clippings for any baby book - that would require a baby book to exist. However, this will be documented in pictures and hopefully serve as a warning against any future hairstyling snafus.

NaBloPoMo

2010-11-03T06:49:00.000-07:00

I'm already behind. For those unfamiliar with the acronym (as I was), it stands for National Blog Posting Month. I was unaware that there was such a need for bloggers and already I've failed to post every day this month. Granted, I haven't posted a blog in 10 months - life gets busy and I believe there are more worthwhile pasttimes than making sure I blog every day or even every month. That's not to infer that I am involved in more worthwhile pasttimes, but I am aware that they exist.

For example, it is also National Epilepsy Awareness Month. I haven't personally been impacted by this condition, but I do consider it far more worthwhile to research causes and perhaps find cures for this condition. Although seizures are experienced by only 1% of the country's population, that still adds up to nearly 3 million people. Do you know how to help those who are experiencing a seizure? Get the facts at http://www.epilepsyfoundation.org/.

Week Ending 2/28/10

2010-02-28T20:04:00.001-08:00

This has been a rough week. We've all been fighting various strains of the cold. I've been tired, cranky, and moody. It's come to a point where I've decided I need to start prioritizing my life. We made the decision for me to go to work full time, though I'm still not completely sure it's the best decision right now. The suburban started to shoot smoke through the vents at me, the washing machine is making a bad, squeaky noise, and we still need to file our taxes. These are things that would just be easier to deal with if my schedule were more flexible. And the reality is that I have great bosses who allow me to be flexible. But my work ethic won't allow me to take advantage of that.

The highlights of this week were two birthdays. Nicholas turned 7 on Wednesday and Daniel celebrated his 12th birthday today. We had a combined birthday party on Friday after school. It was actually very nice. We had it at Peter Piper Pizza, the only thing I had to bring were the cakes. It probably ends up costing less and being much less frustrating for me to do it this way.

Today Daniel was sustained in Sacrament Meeting to receive the Aaronic Priesthood. He was then ordained a deacon and had the Aaronic Priesthood conferred upon him during the 3rd hour of church. Neil did the ordination, and I was interested to hear the blessings he pronounced on Daniel. I wonder sometimes if Neil sees Daniel's behaviors as positive traits or annoying habits. The blessing mentioned Daniel's sensitive nature and how his awareness of others will be a blessing to him as he carries out his duties as a deacon. It also mentioned his great faith and his intelligence. One of the things the Bishop had asked Daniel to do during his interview was to memorize the 13th section of the Doctrine and Covenants. I was very proud of him as he stood at the pulpit and recited it. I do wonder, though, if he truly understood the meaning of the words or if he had simply memorized words with no meaning. I guess I'll have to ask him about that.

Our home teacher came tonight. We love having him in our home. Cierra had been feeling sick so asked if he would help her dad give her a blessing with the oil. I had asked for a blessing last month to help me deal with my finger which causes me pain off and on. Cierra has always gone to her dad whenever she feels sick or scared to give her blessings. I am in awe of her faith at such a young age. She knows the power of the priesthood and relies on it constantly.

Neil and the older boys are off at a youth devotional. Daniel had his board of review earlier for his 2nd and 1st class ranks. He is off to a good start and I think he will be a good addition to our small troop. They now have 3 active deacons and 2 who are semi-active. The two come from split families so I believe they are as active as they can be given the situations. Now if only we could get some more teachers. Aaron is the only one who shows up for the mid-week activities and I know it is hard for him to stay focused when there really is no camaraderie. We had a Little Philmont last weekend and the main message I got from it was that the general authorities want us to expand through recruiting (i.e. missionary work) rather than compress by consolidating either within the quorums or unilaterally with other wards. I applaud the idea, but I wonder how Aaron can have any success in this endeavor. He has many friends at school, but his closest friends are already involved in scouts either with traditional troops or in other wards in our stake.

Well, I need to go convince the little guys that they really should be asleep by now. 5:30 is going to come very early.

This Old House

2010-02-17T20:06:00.000-08:00

I'm going to miss this house. It was the one that I thought we would raise our children in. The one that we would grow old in together. The one that would be filled on the holidays with the joyous sounds of children coming home from college, missions, and with families of their own. We talked about how when the kids got older and moved away, we would still sneak out to the pool for night swimming. We planned on what to do with all the extra rooms once they were gone. My own sewing room, an office, an exercise room - the possibilities were endless. Now the dreams have ended.

I guess they actually ended a year and a half ago when Neil lost his job and we watched our savings slowly drain away. When we realized we couldn't afford to live here so stopped making payments altogether. When we put the house on the market first at regular price, then as a short-sale. The past year has been hard. With the acceptance that we would eventually have to move, I pulled back emotionally from friends and acquaintances. Why strive to form bonds when they would be severed in the end anyway? I've moved enough in my life to know that nobody really has the time or energy to make a friendship last regardless of best intentions.

And the process has dragged on. It would have been so easy to walk away a year ago. There was no positive attachment to the ward as a whole. The little kids were still young enough that no lasting bonds had been made either at school or at church. The older kids had been through previous moves so another wouldn't be a big deal. We've now had three offers on the house. The first two took four months each time for the bank to get close to a decision. The first buyer walked before we could get the bank to agree. The second buyer walked two days before receiving the approval letter from the bank. This time it's an investor who has actually been wanting the house all along. We've been told by bank representatives that this time it should go quicker.

I'll be relieved really when it's over. And I am past the point of caring whether the bank accepts the offer or just goes through with the foreclosure. Yes, I would prefer the short-sale because it does look better on the credit ratings, but given the recent economic downfall nationwide, it's not like many people have stellar credit anymore anyway. I just want to be done so that I can unpack boxes and get on with the business of living. But it is still hard. There is a part of me that really would like to be able to save this house. I know it's a financial impossibility. I also know that Neil wants to be done altogether for a number of reasons. I respect that, but I still can't help but hold on to a few of the dreams. The ones where I have a spare room to have grandkids stay the weekend or a devastated child get back on his or her feet. The ones about night swimming in the pool when I'm 80. The sewing room and the ever allusive dream of being organized. The dream of owning a home that truly is home.

Til Something Better Comes Along

2010-02-08T18:13:00.001-08:00

As we approach Valentine's Day and the world around us is filled with heart-shaped balloons, cute stuffed animals, and flyers portraying a variety of jewelry, I can't help but reflect on the love lives of my close friends and other acquaintances. Relationships are difficult. Hopefully, the longer you are together, the more unified you become. Supposedly, marriage vows are meant to strengthen the relationship bonds by providing promises to have and to hold, for better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, til death do us part or for time and all eternity.

Instead, what I witness is a cynical approach. The thought, if any, behind the promises is about tax write-offs, staying together for the kids, and staying together until it gets to hard or something different comes along. The first year is often the most difficult. You have come out of the honeymoon stage and realize that despite the best of intentions, you are not married to Prince Charming or Mrs. Right. For many, this disillusionment is considered to have been dishonesty or misrepresentation on the offender's behalf. The reality is that we all want to be the person we portray ourselves to be and it is only after time that we realize that we can't live up to the ideal we set forth and disappoint both ourselves and our partner. Some partners are forgiving enough or loving enough to accept this human frailty and keep on putting up with us. These are the lucky couples. They will persevere and find joy in each other's company. They will live up to the vows taken at marriage and continue to love, cherish, honor, and obey even when it is difficult to remember why exactly they took those vows.

Sadly, others will look for their ideal person elsewhere. They will refuse to acknowledge that even as they have been disappointed, so have their partners. Instead of recognizing that this may be a portion of the "worse" instead of the "better" and strive to focus inward on the marriage and the partnership, these individuals will look outside the relationship with the idea that something better is out there and will cause them to be happier.

What a selfish outlook. They disregard the wake of disaster they leave in the path behind them as their partners and children are left to pick up the pieces. What is truly sad is that this new adventure will most likely end the same way and more lives will be destroyed and happiness will never truly be obtained. They are unlikely to realize that they need to change themselves and be that something better and create their own happiness.

Cute Stuff

2010-02-07T18:14:00.000-08:00

Nick: Mom, is that stuff dad puts under his arms called yogurt?

The McDonald's has an air hockey table. Since the youngest three are a bit too short to reach the table adequately, we drag chairs over. Nick used the chair for better reach. Rachel used the chair to climb onto the table. She's the winner because not only does she have better control of the table, she effectively blocks her goal with her body.

Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery

2010-02-07T17:43:00.001-08:00

This classic story is the one chosen for this month's book club. Surprisingly, it is not one I had previously read. I suppose I thought it "too girly" as a child and it wasn't something I chose to read later in life. I am glad to have had a reason to add it to my "have read" list.

Anne of Green Gables highlights the life of a young orphan girl brought mistakenly to the home of Matthew and Marilla Cuthbert - elderly siblings wanting a boy to help out with the farm. We first meet Anne at the train station, an 11 year old disgrace full of optimism. She is a realist full of fanciful notions, and though she is a bit too chatty and direct in her comments, she is a delightful child.

We follow Anne's progress through school, family life, and friends for the next five years. We rejoice in her triumphs and feel heartache through her sorrows, and we applaud her as we realize that she has developed into a bright young woman.

Although there is nothing magical or cinematic about this story, only those who have read it can understand why it is considered a classic.

Week Ending 2/7/10

2010-02-07T17:18:00.000-08:00

It has been a busy week with some triumphant moments. The biggest happened on Wednesday. Rachel turned 4 years old and, true to her promise, started wearing underwear. She had a couple of accidents, but has picked up on the urges pretty well and has been doing very well. I gave her the option of underwear or pull ups for church and she chose underwear. Yay Rachel!

Last night was our district Volunteer Recognition Dinner for scouts. I MCd again with the help of a 100 year scouter. Our Council CEO was present and commented to our district commissioner that this was the most entertaining dinner he had ever attended. I brought home a couple of plaques myself - one for the Tiger Den Leader of the Year and one for Scouting Spirit. I don't think anybody becomes a scout leader in hopes of getting a plaque or any other recognition, but it is nice to have your hard work acknowledged.

Other highlights of the week was Wednesday night's Pack Meeting, Thursday night's Roundtable Meeting, and meeting a deadline at work on Friday. We also received word that the bank had finally accepted the short sale offer only to find out that the buyer had walked. What this means is that we are now in negotiations with the other bank on the 2nd loan and busy trying to find a buyer who will come in and accept the offer as is. In the meantime, we are basically going to look for a rental house to move into at the beginning of March. The idea is that whether we find a buyer or end up in foreclosure, we will have a satisfactory roof over our heads. Prayers would be much appreciated.

On to another busy week.

The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown

2010-02-02T10:05:00.000-08:00

I admit, I love Dan Brown. Well, maybe not so much him as his books. Truth be told I've never actually met him, so yeah, it must be his writing I am so fond of. I read The DaVinci Code before it was a movie. I'm not sure it was even a popular book when I read it. It may have been and I just didn't know it. That happens a lot in my life. I'm actually more relevant than I realize because my eclectic taste in literature, music, movies, etc. means that at some point I will have already read, listened to, or watched something that is now mainstream popular.

I digress. The DaVinci Code intrigued me. I have a sort of interest in history. I like learning things that are put out there, but I really don't want to have to go delve to determine how much of what is put out there is actually true. This is fine as long as I don't spout off history learned in novels as actual historical fact. When Angels & Demons came out as a movie, I had to read the book. I still haven't seen the movie, though I'm interested in how close they portrayed the book in the movie. I was on a Dan Brown roll and so had to read The Lost Symbol. I imagine it too will be made into a major motion picture. It certainly is written well enough to have some great Hollywood effects.

The reason I like Dan Brown's writing came to me as I read The Lost Symbol. I don't know how much of what he includes is true fact, what is myth brought to a possible truth, and what is just made up. He makes it all very intriguing and believable. He also adds in some great twists and turns in the plot that are not so obvious but yet you later think "I should have seen that coming."

The Lost Symbol deals with the secrecy of The Masons throughout history and one man's ploy to unravel and reveal all to the world. At least in a way that makes the Masons look really, really bad. I have a modest interest in The Masons. Major historical figures have been identified as being part of this group. Again, I do not know how much of what Dan Brown included in the novel is accepted as truth or near-truth. But it is written in such a way that the reader wants Professor Langdon to protect the secrets, even at the risk of losing the lives of loved ones and self.

This is what I find so intriguing. It is just a story. The horrid events that happen to people aren't really happening to people. And yet, I find myself so completely wrapped up in the lives of these characters that I want them all to be okay and I find myself feeling sick to my stomach when vicious killings occur, particularly to innocents just doing their jobs. Dan Brown writes in such a way that the reader is pulled in and becomes emotionally involved. He makes us care about the characters - even the minor ones.

Even if there is going to be a movie, I suggest you read the book.

So it's been awhile...

2010-01-31T18:07:00.000-08:00

It surprised me that I hadn't posted in over a month. January has been a very busy month for us and yet, nothing major has actually happened. Neil has been working 6 day weeks and I've been trying to just keep everybody's schedules going on track. I've pulled back from a lot of my scouting involvement and focusing on my Tiger Den. We now have 7 boys in our Den and have a lot of interest from the kindergarten class. Looks like we'll be busy next year as well.

Neil and I will be on staff at a Wood Badge Course in March so we've had some staff development meetings. The kids all seem to be doing well in school other than Aaron. He receives poor marks during the interim weeks, but then buckles down and ends up passing his classes. He claims it's because not all the grades are actually in when the reports are sent out so don't reflect reality. I'll be talking to his teachers this week.

Rachel will be turning 4 on Wednesday. She knows this is when she starts wearing underwear. We've had her in pull ups for the last month in anticipation of this happening and getting her used to going to the bathroom on the toilet. I'm just hoping that 4 really is a magical number to her and this potty-training switch actually happens.

We got news from our realtor that the foreclosure sale date was pushed back to March. This generally indicates that the bank is going to accept the offer, but apparently the negotiator has been a bit of a jerk so we don't have anything official from the bank. We have our realtor looking for rental properties for us so we can make a hopefully easy transition from this house to the next.

I'm loving my job and we are looking at the possibility of me going full time. That will depend greatly on salary and where we actually move to. Mostly we're making plans and checking with the Lord to see if we're anywhere close to His plan.

On to another week (or month).

The BFG by Roald Dahl

2009-12-27T19:11:00.000-08:00

I had heard of this story many times as two of my children have read it and many other of Dahl's works. But it wasn't until recently that I decided to read it myself. This decision was spurred after doing a classroom observation for my schoolwork. I have to have 80 hours of observation before I can begin my student teaching. The class was a 2nd/3rd grade classroom of about 10 students. It is the teacher's first year at this school, though she has at least two years prior experience in teaching. The class was about halfway through the book on the day of my observation, and the teacher did such a delightful job of reading. I particularly enjoyed the voice she gave to the BFG (Big Friendly Giant) and the way she so accurately mispronounced the words as written.

The book is a quick read and a delightful, fanciful story of a little girl who is carried away by the BFG after she spies him blowing through a trumpet in the middle of the night. Although the BFG is friendly, thus the name, he actually isn't very big for a giant and is not typical of giants in many other ways as well. The young girl witnesses the existence of more typical giants and is warned by the BFG about what will happen to her if the other giants were to find her. She is horrified when she learns that giants eat people and devises a plan to save the human race from the giants, with the help of the BFG.

It is a rather silly book, but fun to read and full of confusing words that sort of make sense. If you have children in the 7-10 age range, this is a recommended read for them and you.

Thank You Notes

2009-12-27T19:06:00.000-08:00

We have always tried hard to get our children to follow the age-old tradition of writing thank you notes. Some years we've done better than others, but apparently, there has been some success. This morning, Cierra asked if we could take Ruger to church. We explained that dogs generally don't go to church (I assume that service dogs would be allowed). Dad added that we needed Ruger at home to protect the house while we were away. Shortly after we observed Cierra dictating to Nick (because he can write) a letter thanking Ruger for guarding our home.

Here's hoping he'll be as helpful when it comes time to write the holiday thank you notes.

Week Ending 12/27/09

2009-12-27T18:42:00.000-08:00

Well we're coming to the end of the holidays and the end of the year. My goal is to send out a year in review at some point, but we just finally got family pictures done yesterday so the letter will wait until those come back.

The week has been busy. I worked Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, did visiting teaching and last minute shopping and errands on Thursday, thoroughly enjoyed Christmas day on Friday and relaxed on Saturday. Neil worked Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and a few hours Saturday morning. He had Wednesday off to celebrate his birthday. He took the kids to the zoo, did some Christmas shopping, then spent the evening with Alyx and Derek.

We were all spoiled with presents and family and are now dreading the going back to work this week. I at least enjoy my job, Neil tolerates his. We've decided his manager is a complete idiot and unfortunately it only gets worse as you go higher up in the company. This is probably one of the reasons why Neil has decided not to pursue management with this company.

Church today was entertaining for me. I got to play in nursery without actually getting out the toys. Instead, we had a lesson, ate snacks, sang songs, and kept the kids active with a variety of games such as London Bridges, Ring Around the Rosy, and Motorboat. Maybe I'm just slow, or maybe it's learned behavior that we fail to question, but as we did Motorboat, I realized that the words and the actions conflict at the end. For anyone unfamiliar with the action poem, here are the words and the dilemna:

Motorboat, motorboat go so slow (participants walk slowly in a circle holding hands)
Motorboat, motorboat go so fast (participants run in the circle, still holding hands)
Motorboat, motorboat step on the gas (participants suddenly brake and fall to the floor)

Did you notice that - you've just stepped on the gas, yet the actions have you coming to a stop rather abruptly as if you had actually stepped on the brake. Granted, fast and gas rhyme, whereas fast and brake do not. Coming to the conclusion that the words and actions did not match, I attempted to change the actions to fit the words and pick up speed. This is not recommended, especially when playing with small children because picking up speed actually causes them to fly through the air and I swear this is not what caused one little boy to end up with a goose egg on his forehead, but that is a foreseeable end.

Next week I'm helping out with the Valiant 11/12s and I'm pretty sure there will be no call for Motorboat in that class.

Christmas Blessings

2009-12-26T09:55:00.000-08:00

Now that the stockings have been unstuffed and are no longer hanging with care, but rather strewn throughout the house haphazardly; and children are somewhat nestled - at least the older ones - while the younger ones are having fun with their newfound toys, I thought it would be a good time to reflect on the blessings we've experienced this Christmas.

First, we are still in our home. We are patiently waiting the bank's decision on the short sale offer and really in no hurry to move. We expect that they will make a decision once the holidays are over and they realize that it has now been over a year since they have received any type of payment from us. It's not that we don't want to hold to our obligation, but the reality is we never should have been approved for the original loan and we are in no position to even afford the payments of a loan modification. But the blessing is that we were able to have Christmas in a warm, comfortable home that is large enough to hold our family when we are altogether.

This brings me to our next blessing. Once again, we have all the children together in our home. Alyx even spent the night and we will be taking a family portrait later this afternoon. The spirit in the home is peaceful, which is a change from a couple of years ago when Alyx was always here during the court-appointed parenting time but was resentful and moody. While I always loved her, I admit I did not enjoy having her in the house with that attitude most times. Her attitude now is more in tune with our whole family - very laidback.

That attitude is what I consider my third blessing. As much as I love the holidays, I really do not get into the whole decorating thing. I love the decorating, actually, it is the un-decorating that I dislike. The tree is now pretty dry and I am ready to remove the few ornaments that made their way onto the tree and toss the tree out into the woodpile. I love that my children are willing to toss the ornaments onto the tree in a very unorganized way. They enjoy the decorating and do not need to have me being anal about the positioning of each ornament or deciding which ones should be allowed on the tree and which ones are too gaudy to be displayed. And I admit to having a few of those ornaments. But those are blessings as well as they reflect my childhood Christmases and traditions we have carried forward.

I am grateful for food. And I am grateful that my family does not expect any special feast or spread. This is a carry over from my own family where mom always had too much food and candy and we were allowed to graze throughout the day without any formal sit-down dinner. We have plenty of food and the children can graze at will without expecting me to jump through any hoops to make food, especially since I really don't cook anyway.

Another blessing is our ward family. We struggled to fit in and still don't, but as I have come to know individuals, I am realizing that there really isn't a place to fit in. People are just people and often what we see in appearance has little relevance to who the people are on the inside. As I have had the opportunity to get to know many on a more personal and individual basis, I realize that I fit in much more than I thought I could and I don't have to do anything special to be accepted. Now, granted, that means that there are some people who just don't get me and we will never be friends, but I am finding that those people are becoming fewer and fewer as time goes by.

We were blessed by being visited early in the season by the single sisters of the ward. They chose to be Santas to our family and brought presents and goodies. They sang carols to us and forgave the intrusions of unexpected visitors relating to my scouting position as Popcorn Kernel.

I was particularly blessed this year by being able to work part time. In addition to the extra income, I have made some wonderful friends and strengthened other relationships. One lady in particular has become dear to my heart. She is a single woman who desires marriage and companionship but is such a strong personality in her own right. She ended up with an extra ticket to the performance of The Forgotten Carols by Michael McLean and invited me to come along. What a blessing. I was excited to get dressed up a bit and to enjoy some away from work, kids, home time. The performance was good. I wasn't too sure at first how much I was really enjoying it. I love music and have always liked McLean's music in particular. The songs were good, but I just wasn't real sure about the whole story line. During the second act I found myself wanting the time to be done so I could just get back home. In retrospect, I realize that even though I wanted the time away, there were still many things going on at home and my mind was still engaged at home and unable to fully experience the performance. It really wasn't until the end when Michael came back out on stage and talked to the audience that I really started feeling the spirit of what was intended. This portion actually prolonged the away time, but it was when I really was able to put off the naggings of the mind and understand the message of the performance.

And that brings me to my final blessing - not that I don't have many more that I could name, but this one is big. It is the blessing of knowing the Savior, Jesus Christ. Yes, I know that He wasn't really born in the cold of December, but in the early months of spring. But this is the season we celebrate His birth most fully. And while most of us know the traditional story of who was there at this blessed time, His existence touched the lives of far more than those who were physically there to celebrate His birth and participate in His life. Because I know Him, He inspires me to be better, to strive harder, to live more fully following His example.

Merry Christmas to all and may the miracle of Jesus touch your life and lead you to be a better you.

Almost Week's End

2009-12-19T20:32:00.001-08:00

I realized that I haven't been blogging regularly nor am I even able to get the weekly update in. So since I have a few spare moments, I thought I'd just get down what has occurred over the past few weeks.

The kids just finished up their last week of school and are officially on Christmas Break. I am done with popcorn except for turning in some money and leftover popcorn to council. The Christmas shopping is mostly done although I imagine that it won't be until I start wrapping the presents that I'll have a better indicator of what percentage of "done" I am.

I've been busy with scouts and school and soccer and church programs and school programs and work and other things that I don't quite remember. Last Saturday was the ward Christmas program. I was supposed to be an angel with other children angels. Instead, I had a blazing headache and was sent home by the Activities Committee Chair. Daniel stayed and played a shepherd and then got a ride home with a good friend. My roasting pan with the hams I had cooked didn't make it home and Neil said he couldn't find it at church on Sunday. My headache was still waging a war on my body so I stayed home. Hopefully the Activities Committee Chair knows its whereabouts. The roasting pan, not the war.

Tuesday the school had its final soccer game. We scored a goal and got a 4th place trophy. I was happy both for the outcome and that the season is now over. Wednesday was Pack Meeting. They had an awesome display of color guard by a Marine Corps, who also stayed and talked about the Toys for Tots program and other cool military stuff. Wednesday and Thursday were half-days for Aaron, Derek, and Alyx as they had finals and then Friday off. Thursday was the Christmas program for the younger kids. The pre-school group did a cute musical program which involved a lot of rocking back and forth and hard-to-decipher singing. The school-aged children put on Dickens' A Christmas Carol with a little bit of personal flavor. Daniel played Dickens with a horrible English accent, Nick was Peter Cratchett, and Cierra was part of the choir. Given their ages and abilities, they did a good job. Grandma Janet happened to be in town and so shared the evening with us. Friday was a half-day for the younger children and so I did some housework and school work during the morning then spent the afternoon herding cats. That evening we went to a Christmas party hosted by some friends. Lots of yummy things to eat and a fun musical presentation. Santa even showed up.

Today we all pitched in and cleaned house, except for Nick who ended up with the flu. It had hit Rachel and Cierra at the end of last week and beginning of this week so it was just a matter of time. Nick was a real trooper about it though, even covered up his own puke trail when he missed the toilet. He seems to be feeling much better tonight so hopefully will be able to go to church tomorrow. If not, Neil will have to stay home as I've been asked to cover in the nursery and we figure it'll be easier to send his three boys to the other Primary teacher if he can't be there.

We got a little time to ourselves tonight as we went grocery shopping. Dating really isn't something we get to do very often because of our financial situation, but we've found that it's more about being together and away from the kids than the activity we actually do.

I've got to get to bed so I can get up and moving in the morning.

Week Ending December 6, 2009

2009-12-06T17:30:00.001-08:00

The weeks seem to get busier as we get closer to Christmas. This past week was pretty much the same schedule though my visit to the ER in the middle week caused me to change some activities around. I am finishing up the last of the Popcorn Fundraiser for the district so I had many phone calls and emails from the various units as we figured out who still needed what, who had product to return, and how much they all owed. It will be truly done by next week, one way or another.

Monday, being the last day of the month, Neil had to work from 7 am to 6:30 pm. He took Alyx and Derek out to dinner as there wasn't much time to spend with them. We had had them both last week for Thanksgiving and it was fun to spend time with them both.

Tuesday was a typical day including school, work, soccer practice, and scouts. Wednesday started out typical, but ended with a visit to ER, having blessed friends willing to pick up my children from school and me from the hospital. Neil had worked the late shift (12-9) and was so sweet to offer to come to the hospital with me. I assured him that it was better than he go to work and if necessary, I would call him. He stayed up with me most of Wednesday night even while I slept and was willing to call in to work on Thursday so he could run the kids to school and get my drugs. Luckily, the kidney stone passed a little before noon and so he was able to get in an afternoon nap and I was able to get things accomplished for our District Roundtable that night. He went to roundtable while I continued to recover.

Friday the kids had their half-day and I picked them up, ran down to the council offices to pick up some missing popcorn, and then took Cierra to the doctor to attend to some warts. She has a small one on each wrist and two on her big toe. The doctor decided to freeze them right then so Cierra has been experiencing her own pain. The freezing seems to be working and it is hard for me to see these blisters of viral infection and not want to just cut them off. She has caught one of her wrists a couple of times so she now walks around with a handkerchief. It has been particularly hard on her since anytime she gets any type of owie, she wants a band-aid and the doctor told us we can't put a bandaid on the warts if the freezing is to do its job.

Friday night we went down to the temple and looked at the temple lights. The missionaries are a bit zealous this year. Normally once we mention that we are already members, they might ask for a reference, but they also seem to be attentive to who the other missionaries are talking with. It felt like every missionary was on the attack and it made it difficult to enjoy the lights. We left within an hour due to that and the particularly cold night. Neil then took us down to his place of business to see the four-story Christmas tree. There was also an arts and crafts fair going on, but it had already closed down by the time we got there. So our visit there was long enough to take pictures of the tall tree and to chat up the security guard. We then headed for home knowing we had a busy Saturday coming up.

Saturday morning we had tithing settlement. We had planned to get dinner the night before at IHOP, one of our favorites, but because of the late hour and tired children, we put it off until breakfast. We also traded in for Denny's because it was closer to the church. After tithing settlement, Neil dropped me and the girls off at home and then took the boys over to the Thunderbird Building for an Eagle Scout project. When they finished with that, I took Aaron for a hair cut and then Neil took Daniel and Nick on a hike that Daniel needed to complete as one of his scouting requirements. Aaron went over to a friend's and I worked on homework and housework. When everyone got back home, Neil and I went out to pick up some needed groceries.

Today was church and we were all up and to church on time. The suburban has been groaning and we've determined that it is in need of a brake job. It got us to and from church and will be going to our mechanic tomorrow. It was fast and testimony meeting and many great testimonies were borne. We also had a great lesson in Relief Society on the attributes of Christ. I am now listening to the First Presidency Devotional and President Monson has begun to speak.

On to a new week.

I'll Take Childbirth

2009-12-04T07:44:00.000-08:00

I've known pain, excruciating pain. I've given birth 5 times - all vaginal. I'm not sure why that is important, but doctors always ask. I have never had an epidural and I'm not a big fan of drugs in general. I think I have a high tolerance for pain, actually, and only have given in to modern medicine when the occasion really called for it - like childbirth. Even last spring when I needed a root canal but it had to wait until after my trip to Disneyland with a bunch of cub scouts, I made due with Advil. Granted that was partly because the Vicodin I had been prescribed made me puke and I really wanted to go on some rides without losing my lunch.

Wednesday morning I stopped by Circle K for a cup of hot chocolate and a breakfast sandwich. The sandwich was a bit soggy and I regretted the decision, though I did enjoy most of my hot chocolate. I got to work about 9 and about 10 started feeling crampy. The kind of cramp that says you need to high-tail it to the bathroom to avoid any embarrassing stenches in the office. Usually the trip to the bathroom spells relief. Not this time. After sitting on the toilet and taking care of business, I found myself in agony trying to stand up. I managed, washed my hands, and had the urge to visit the toilet again. Similar situation, still no relief from the cramps, but the discomfort seemed to be subsiding.

I went back into the office and tried to get some work done. As I talked with co-w0rkers, they noticed that I was grimacing. One mentioned appendicitis and now I am really freaked out. Finally after multiple trips to the bathroom and on-again, off-again pain, I decide to go to the doctor. I assure them that I am capable of driving and head out. I make it as far as the bathroom, where once again I feel the urge to go and find myself crying from the pain going across my belly and up my back.

I go back to the office and one of my co-workers takes me to ER. I am not a fan of ER. I've never been there for myself, but have had enough experience to know that it usually involves a lot of waiting. Plus, there is that side of me who is doubting that I am experiencing anything worse than a bad case of gas and I really don't want to pay $100 copay to be told I'm a wuss who can't handle a little gas. Luckily, the ER is slow and I am taken back almost immediately. The next few hours involves puking, drawing blood, peeing in a cup, and a catscan of my abdomen. Other than the catscan, this resembles my childbirth experiences rather closely. Luckily, the peeing in a cup comes back with the result that I am not pregnant, for which I am grateful. It had been on my mind that there was the slight possibility I was dealing with a tubal pregnancy and could imagine the complications that would involve.

Finally the doctor comes back and tells me that I am not a wuss after all. It is not a bad case of gas and on the positive side, it is also not appendicitis. I have a kidney stone. Now I have heard the stories of people who have had kidney stones. I have also heard this experience described as almost as bad as the pain a woman endures in childbirth. Since I have now had both experiences, I admit, there are some similarities, however, there are also some glaring differences.

First, pain is involved with both child birth and kidney stones. It is acute pain that comes and goes. However, childbirth pain is generally in the form of contractions which do subside and you know that if you can just get through this part, you can then breathe. With kidney stones, the pain is inconstant. It doesn't come in waves and you have no clue when the pain will stop.

Second, childbirth involves another human being and doctors are quite concerned if the process takes overly long as it is not healthy for either mother or child. Kidney stones only involve you and doctors are nowhere near as concerned about getting this thing out of your body quickly. In fact, you shouldn't bother them unless it takes more than 5 days for the stone to pass.

Third, in childbirth, the contractions give you an idea of how fast you are progressing. Plus there is the information from the doctor about how big your cervix has become. You have a pretty good idea of how much longer the process is going to take. Kidney stones do not have any such indicators. The pain can be random in both severity and occurrence. You only know you are in pain and very rarely do you have any clue on how close this thing is to passing.

Fourth, childbirth results in this precious addition to your family and people bring you gifts. A kidney stone is roughly the size of a grain of sand. Other than the thrill of knowing it is now out of your body, there is not much cause for celebration and I've never heard of anyone being thrown a kidney stone shower or receiving presents for enduring this hardship.

So, for the record, although we have taken measures to not have any more children, and thus no more experiences of childbirth, if given the option between that and passing a kidney stone, I'll take childbirth.

Being Thankful

2009-11-26T20:36:00.001-08:00

I'm not blogging as much as I used to. I miss it actually because it means that I do not have the same amount of free time I previously had. I've probably lost readers, not that I had a whole lot to begin with. I rather enjoy having my writing acknowledged, even though I tell myself that is not why I am writing.

With today being the day Americans celebrate Thanksgiving, I decided to take advantage of this spare free time to set forth those things for which I am thankful. They are not in any particular order, just pretty much however they hit me randomly.

First, I am thankful for my job. It is the reason I don't have as much free time, but I really enjoy the people I work with and I enjoy the challenge it is bringing to my life. I am realizing that I need to put up boundaries so that I don't make what is supposed to be part-time into more than full-time. There is plenty of work to do that and I do so like to be of service. I have realized though that by trying to do so much causes me stress as I try to keep the rest of my life in balance. But I am indeed grateful to be trusted by people I respect to do a difficult job.

I am thankful for my family. Between my work hours and Neil's work hours, our family time has become more rare, but of better quality. Alyx came and spent the afternoon with us. Her visits are rare and random, and I realize that she has a life that doesn't really revolve around hanging out with her dad and step-mom. I do enjoy when she is here. She is growing up into a beautiful young lady, both physically and emotionally. She is intelligent and thoughtful. She brings peace with her which is a wonderful change from the drama queen who used to be forced upon us. I am thankful for her maturity. The older boys are still immature, but I see great potential. I am amazed that God has allowed me to be with such amazing boys. They are so close in age and yet so different in personality. They are equally annoying and helpful. Aaron and I share a bond that is forged from a tumultuous experience from his early years. In some ways, he is my confidante and my advisor. Derek on the other hand is a completely different relationship. Although he is my step-son, I have not yet figured out what that relationship really entails. He has always been very respectful towards me, but lately, I sense a great deal of love emanating from him. Perhaps he is finally realizing that loving me and being loved by me does not in any way violate his relationship with his biological mother. I always get a hug from him before he leaves for the evening and I am grateful that he feels comfortable enough with me to show that affection. Daniel is still my baby. At times I wish he would grow up but I do so appreciate his sensitivity to situations and others' feelings. He is in that awkward stage of pre-adolescence and as the true middle child, I worry about him feeling like he belongs. Perhaps that is why he turns to me so often - he does not have a close peer within the family and his friends are not always available. He is doing so well at school this year and I feel positive that he will adjust to middle school next year with ease. I am thankful for the peace I feel with that decision. Nicholas has become an emotional roller coaster lately. I suspect he is testing the waters as he tries to become more independent. He is so capable and has the potential for being a great leader. I have great hope that this current phase is just that and that he will come through it a stronger, healthier child. Cierra has grown so much this year. Being in kindergarten has been a great blessing in our lives. She is so smart and has made many friends in her class. She is helpful and has such a sweet, giving heart. Rachel was put into pre-school when I started working. She still tells me she hates school, but the teachers say she is very involved and happy when she is there. I love listening to her sing and talk when she thinks nobody is listening. She is very articulate and I know she will be ready for school when the time comes. She still is very much my little girl and I am thankful that she allows me to cuddle with her.

I am thankful for having found the Charter School. I like that the children have small class sizes and get better immediate attention. I am grateful for their association with the pre-school so I only have one stop in the mornings and afternoons. I appreciate the school's Christian values and am comfortable with knowing my children are getting both temporal and spiritual development while they are in the school's care.

I am thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and for my membership in His church. I know that I would be a mess if I didn't have this to direct my life. I am grateful for the Savior's atoning sacrifice and all that His act offers to me.

I am thankful for having a home, even though it has been almost a year now that we have been unable to make the mortgage payment. I know it is through the Lord's blessing that we are still here and though it often feels like we are in limbo, I have always been at peace with knowing that things will happen in the Lord's time. I am grateful that He has seen fit to keep us here for this long.

I am thankful for my bed, which is where I am now headed. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and had the opportunity to reflect on your own blessings.

The Secret Life of Prince Charming

2009-11-15T22:19:00.001-08:00

I finished this book finally. I haven't had as much time lately for luxury reading and I borrowed the book at least 2 months ago from the library. It was in the teen section and it had a cute title and would be a quick read, or so I assumed. It should be a quick read, but only if you have time to sit and read.

The premise of the story is figuring out love. It hides behind an adventure trek taken by two sisters, a step-sister, and a boyfriend's brother as they return items taken by the father from women with whom he had had relationships. But the journey is more than just returning the items, the girls find themselves learning things about their father they probably didn't really want to know and forging a bond that could not be attained any other way.

Mixed in the story line are excerpts from what you might assume are journal writings from the various female characters in the book which revolve around love and relationships. There appears to be an underlying search for truth.

Overall it wasn't a bad book. Okay on the entertainment factor and doesn't require any truly deep thought. It wasn't good enough for me to care about what the future of the characters might hold and I was not emotionally caught up in the characters, their quest, or the plot overall. What I did get out of it was a bit of disappointment.

When we talk about love and relationships, I get that people should try to avoid those that feel like love but in reality are just user relationships and a waste of time. I've had my share of those experiences and I understand why you stay in them. It's not because you're afraid of being alone and it's not because you think you don't deserve better. It's because you don't want to give up on the relationship prematurely. The book claims that love should be easy and peaceful. I'm not sure that you can generalize love like that and claim that if it doesn't fit into that context then it really isn't love. Relationships take work. They consist of two people with their own set of baggage from past relationships which have influenced who they are now. And not just love relationships, but family and friends and business relationships.

I would not want my daughter to read the book and think that anytime a relationship got hard it meant that there was no longer love or perhaps never was love. It shouldn't be all one-sided - both people need to be giving and compromising and loving. If we give up or walk away anytime it gets hard, then what do we learn? How do we grow? Having it hard isn't necessarily a bad thing. You just can't generalize love.

Ask for "The Caran"

2009-11-15T21:50:00.000-08:00

I get strange requests often enough that I generally don't blink an eye anymore. I'm pretty much game for anything and am not easily offended or embarrassed. I blame this mostly on my involvement with scouts. But even I have never really thought of myself as being overly note-worthy or celebrity-styling. Apparently, I was wrong.

I was picking up kids from school on Thursday, and I was talking with a couple of other parents in the parking lot when a lady came over and asked if she could take a picture of my hair. She quickly explained that she needed a haircut and had been looking at mine for the past couple of days and really liked the layered effect. I had no problem with the request though had a slight weird feeling, which I chalk up to the request being made in front of other people. So she snapped a couple of pictures to take to her hairdresser and my friends teased me about being a "celebrity" haircut.

Week Ending November 15, 2009

2009-11-15T21:38:00.000-08:00

It's late and I ought to be in bed, but realized I've got 2 weeks of catching up to do. In all reality, there hasn't been anything of great interest going on. It continues with school, work, scouts, church, and activities all in random order. Everybody has been sick, then better, then sick again. Nothing too bad, really, just enough to make you slightly miserable and irritable. The days are getting shorter and it gets harder and harder to get up at 5:30 even though the alarm going off across the room is annoying beyond belief. It's across the room with the idea that if I have to get out of bed to turn it off, I will stay up and moving. Usually it works, but occasionally I am tempted to slip back into bed and pretend that it's Saturday.

The kids all had the 11th off for Veterans day but both Neil and I worked so it wasn't much of a holiday. I am getting close to the wrap-up for popcorn and am hoping that it all works out quickly so I can be done. I've already given my notice to the district that I won't be doing it again next year. I've done it for three years and it's time to let someone else have the experience. Mostly it's because I should be doing my student teaching next year at this time and I don't want to have to worry about additional stress.

I was tempted to stay home from church today. It seems to be getting harder to want to get up and go. I'm not sure why, because I do feel so enriched when I attend. Today was no exception. I was able to be in Relief Society today and the lesson was on the testimonies others had of Joseph Smith being a prophet. It's not something I've ever given much thought to. I guess I've just always accepted it as a part of the truth of the church. I mean, if a guy is going to just make up a whole new religion, wouldn't he be more likely to follow conventional wisdom rather than going out on a limb and expecting people to accpet completely different thoughts about the attributes of God. New religion wasn't exactly new at that time. There were a lot of churches and pastors and preachers proclaiming the truth of their interpretation of the Bible. Why not just stick to what was already being done. Stick with the Bible and just add a few of your own interpretations. But Joseph Smith introduced a whole new book of scripture and brought to light the idea that the Godhead is indeed three separate beings with a common goal and purpose. If you're going to claim you saw God, why not just stick to seeing God? But Joseph not only claimed to have seen God, but Jesus Christ as well with God introducing Christ as "mine only begotten Son." Not exactly what you want to throw out there if you're making up your own religion and expect people to jump on board. It just seems like a bit much for a 14 year old boy with little education to come up with all on his own.

Week Ending 11/1/09

2009-11-01T14:27:00.000-08:00

I realize I never wrote last week so I guess I'll just highlight the last two weeks. For the most part it has been pretty average. Cierra was invited to a birthday party on the 24th so I dropped her off then took the other kids to do some shopping. Aaron needed some pants for the Homecoming Dance and Daniel needed new church pants. Neil had left Thursday night after work to go Elk Hunting. He got back Saturday night and we skipped church on Sunday because of it being Stake Conference. The little kids are not yet at the point where they can sit for two hours and I don't like having to worry about them being bothersome to others. Maybe it's the wrong attitude to have but that's my life.

This past week was Spirit Week at the elementary school. Daniel enjoyed dressing up on all the days and Nick went about half and half. Cierra wanted nothing to do with crazy hair, hats, or being backwards. She did, however, enjoy wearing her pajamas on Thursday and getting to wear her Diamondbacks t-shirt on Friday for Sports Day. Neil had the whole week off for the hunt, but didn't end up going back up until Wednesday. He had no success in getting an elk, but did get a coyote. With him home, I was able to go in to work earlier and stay later, which was nice for the pocketbook, but of no help for my house. It's been all I can do to keep up with laundry and dishes on that front as the rest of my time is spent helping kids with homework, doing my own schoolwork, and attending various school and scout activities.

I was able to watch Daniel's football game on Tuesday and our Tiger Den went to the Fire Station on Thursday. Aaron had come home Wednesday not feeling well and developed a fever running between 100 and 102. He stayed home Thursday and Friday. Friday was a half day at school for the younger kids and I had planned Cierra's birthday party for noon. That was a great time for her and her friends. Daniel had 3 Halloween parties to attend Friday night and Derek wanted to hang out with friends. So we did a lot of running around and finally got to bed shortly before midnight.

Saturday Neil and I had a staff development for a Wood Badge course we have been asked to help staff. I get to be a troop guide this time and he will be the ASM - Programs - meaning he gets to be the cubmaster on Day 1 and then help out behind the scenes the rest of the time. Kids had all made plans for the rest of the day. Derek wanted to be with friends to hang out and Aaron was going in another direction with his friends. Daniel and friends went to see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and then planned on going trick-or-treating. He messed that up by not being outside once the movie was done as instructed so he had to stay home with dad and pass out candy. He didn't really miss much as the younger three kids went out scrounging for treats and brought home at least 4 times as much candy as we handed out. He probably got the better part of the deal because he didn't have to walk around and get cold, got candy anyway, and got to see all the different costumes.

The two little girls woke up with fevers and runny noses, Aaron is still hacking up lungs, and Neil had a headache, so we decided to skip church and hopefully keep our ward family members healthy.

Well, on to another week.

Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom

2009-10-18T21:27:00.001-07:00

This story is more of an biographical thesis in which Mitch Albom captures the last months of a dear professor's life. It encompasses memories of who Mitch had once been and thoughts on who he had become. It captures the best and worst moments of a man who knows he is dying and is at peace with that.

Overall I am ambiguous about the book. There are bits of wisdom for us all, but I found, for me, that these great life lessons that the author was receiving are common sense ideas taught by living the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is not a religious book and though the dying professor has gleaned insight from a number of religions and religious leaders, he also has borrowed from poets, musicians, and authors. The number one lesson is to love others. This isn't any big newsflash. In fact, in the September Visiting Teaching message, Elder M. Russell Ballard is quoted as saying, "The plan of happiness is available to all of his children. If the world would embrace and live it, peace, joy, and plenty would abound on the earth. Much of the suffering we know today would be eliminated if people throughout the world would understand and live the gospel." He said that back in 1995. It is still true today and probably even more relevant as the world we live in becomes more and more greedy and concerned about the individual rather than the common welfare of all.

I actually had picked up the movie as well by mistake. Well, I had reserved what I thought was the book, only to find out I had reserved the movie. So I watched the movie after reading half of the book. The life lessons were similar but I was very disappointed that they decided to put a different spin on Mitch's relationship with Janine. In the book, they are married and she gets him. They have put off having children, and who knows why though there are probably many factors involved. In the movie, they are not married, only dating, and it is supposedly through Mitch's weekly visits with Morrie that he decides to propose and this is after she has already ended the relationship. Yes, Tuesdays with Morrie changed Mitch and his outlook on life. But isn't it much better to portray reality - that so often our insights affect us in the little ways but deeply, rather than having this great outward appearance of change, but leaves you wondering what will be the fate in five or ten years when Morrie's presence has dissipated and his influence has lessened.

What I did like from the book was Morrie's take on death. He didn't just give in to the disease and wait for his life to waste away. He continued to live and to do so with all the energy he could muster. He probably lived more in those last months than many people truly live in their entire lives. It is an inspiring message for all readers to not wait until death is knocking at your door to embrace the idea of living, instead, to start living now. Living happily and doing those things which are fulfilling. Giving to your community, supporting your family, not putting off out of fear or apathy those things which will enrich your life.

Week Ending 10/18/09

2009-10-18T21:14:00.000-07:00

This past week was Fall Break for the younger kids. Aaron got Monday off for Columbus Day but had school the rest of the week. I started working in the office so I got a full day on Monday, then worked part time on Tuesday and Thursday. I took Wednesday off to stay home and monitor Nick after his incident with the steak knife on Tuesday afternoon, but brought home some work so still stayed busy with that. Wednesday was also Cierra's birthday but with Neil working the late shift, we kind of put off celebrating until sometime in the future. She really wants to have a birthday party with friends, and I really want that to happen. But October is half over and so busy with other things. Her primary teacher took her out and bought her a book and an ice cream cake which the family helped her eat this afternoon.

I skipped book club Wednesday night because of wanting to spend more time with the kids and knowing I had another meeting Thursday night that I needed to go to. I did read the book and will post a review on it after I finish this post. Neil had Friday off from work so we took care of those errands that need attending to that you never seem to have time to do. Saturday he had to work in the morning then we attended the temple wedding of a boy from our last ward. We've had the opportunity to be at a number of that family's functions and enjoy the opportunity to visit with old friends. We ran into a couple who we had known in the Granite Reef Ward and he is now the bishop in another ward in our stake. She is pregnant with their 7th child - another girl due in February. How exciting. I love the idea of being pregnant, but recognizing that it ends with a child, I'm going to pass. I guess if the Lord felt we needed and could handle another child, I'd have no qualms, but I'm quite certain our family is complete and I am enjoying the years of raising the ones we have and knowing that having grandchildren isn't really that far off.

I am back in school so I worked on my assignments yesterday as well and also had some work stuff to complete. We also went grocery shopping and Aaron went to the youth dance. So it was a late night for us all and I really didn't want to get up this morning. We finally got everyone moving and though we were a bit late for church, the boys still were in time to help with the sacrament ordinance. I took a short nap this afternoon then decided to finish up some work. I need to go find the birth certificates so I can finish the enrollment process for Rachel to be in preschool.

I'd best get going. 5:30 comes early in the morning and I still have some stuff to take care of.

Happy Birthday Cierra

2009-10-15T22:06:00.001-07:00

My girl turned 5 yesterday. I was going to post, but the trauma of Nick left me otherwise occupied yesterday. Cierra's original due date was October 13th. Since none of my previous children had bothered waiting to come that late, I assumed Cierra would be the same. I never thought that her being a girl would change the whole delivery schedule. When I met with my doctor that Monday, he informed me that I was 1 cm dilated and felt we could induce any time. I thought "why bother, she'll come anytime now." But to appease the doctor, we set up an induction for the 14th with my assumption that she would show up before then. She didn't so we met the doctor at 7 am at the hospital and I got all hooked up to whatever monitors they had going and they started me on the pitocin. The doctor left and I more or less got bored with the occassional contractions. The doctor came back at 11 and decided to break my water to get things moving. He left and Cierra decided it was time to make her entrance. The nurse had to page the doctor to get back to the room and by the time he showed up, Cierra was halfway out. The poor doctor didn't even have time to throw on a gown and I'm pretty sure his watch is ruined.

She was my biggest child at 8 pounds 13 ounces. She was also "my girl." While Neil and I were dating, I had told him that I knew I still had a girl that needed to come to my family. My desire to have more children was something he shared and we had both found difficult to find in potential mates. Nicholas wasn't a disappointment coming first; in fact, I had pretty much told Heavenly Father that if I was to have more than one more child, then he would have to send me all the boys first. So I got Nick and then I got my girl. Cierra's name comes with a few explanations. Neil had always wanted a girl named Sierra - he had seen it on a truck and thought it would make a cool girl's name. We changed it to a C because we already had Aaron and Alyx, Derek and Daniel, Neil and Nick, so this would give us Caran and Cierra. Neil also liked the original style jeeps with the title CJ (civilian jeep) and thought it would be cool to have a daughter with the initials CJ so he could do a personalized license plate of "CJ 4 CJ." And though I am referred to as CJ by a childhood friend, it wasn't a nickname that had ever stuck with anyone else. So we gave Cierra the middle name of Julene so that she can be CJ and also I like sharing my middle name with my daughter. CJ hasn't really stuck with her either though. CJ is a tomboy's name and Cierra is all princess. Her favorite color is pink. She loves all the Disney princesses, though Ariel is her favorite. She loves my fingernail polish, makeup, and bubble bath.

So my dear, Cierra, sorry this is a day late, but Happy Birthday Princess!!!

The Amazing Human Body

2009-10-13T18:41:00.000-07:00

As a mother of boys, I have had my fair share of visits to the doctor, Urgent Care, and ER. Usually stitches or staples are required though the wound isn't life threatening. And while my mind convinces me to suck it up and take care of the needful, my body doesn't always cooperate. I have come to rely on Neil to take care of ER visits for me because inevitably I pass out once my brain has been given the information that my child is no longer in immediate danger and no longer requires my conscious presence.

Today I asked Nick to empty the dishwasher. This is a chore he has been doing fairly often and does a good job. He had pulled the lower rack out with the silverware then turned to do something with some other dishes. He somehow tripped or slipped, but the end result was a cartwheel over the dishrack and landing on the floor screaming in pain. As I turned to see what was going on, the first thing I noticed was a large knife pointing upwards in the silverware holder. Hoping and praying that this was not a major catastrophe, I scooped Nick up and began to inspect him for injuries. I spotted the slice in his shorts, which didn't seem too bad, but recognized the signs of blood. I plopped him face down across the kitchen sink and yanked his pants down. Sure enough, he had sliced a gash about three inches across his left butt cheek. I yelled at Daniel to bring me butterfly bandaids from the first aid kit, which is luckily in the kitchen and he helped me strip them down to the adhesive and watched me apply them. He admits to almost getting sick. Luckily for me, my brain is in the "You can do this" phase of emergency protocol and so I am both disgusted and enthralled by the blood and meaty stuff (I later learn is fat) that is oozing out of the wound.

After applying four butterfly bandaids and a large gauze pad, I swoop Nick into my arms and we dash through the garage and head for the hospital. I actually had the presence of mind to call my doctor to see if we should bring him there ($20 vs. $100 ER co-pay) but am told that they have no more appointments for the day. I get a call from a good friend with whom I had been expecting to enjoy a long chat, but explain the situation and tell her I'll call her later. We get to the ER and of course can't find a decent parking spot. But we didn't have to do any major hiking and there is nobody in line at the triage desk. I am asked what the emergency is and I briefly explain that my son has sliced his butt open and needs stitches. I'm not sure if the nurse was hard of hearing, or just didn't want to accept what she had heard, but she asked if it was his foot. No, it's his BUTT. Meanwhile a few other people have come in behind me and I can tell they are trying not to snicker. I understand, it is kind of funny. The wording of it anyway, not the pain I am sure my howling son is enduring.

As I am sitting and waiting for him to be called back, my friend shows up. What a lifesaver. She was able to do all those things that I had neglected to take care of. She ran out and got a new outfit and underwear for Nick. She became my calming influence when I started getting the shakes as the shock began to wear off. She carried my stuff so I could carry Nick. She kept me sane by talking to me of things other than Nick's butt wound.

Three hours later, Nick has been stuck, restuck, and stapled. He's been a trooper. Oh, there were tears, but also a morbid desire to see what they were doing - not an easy task given the location of the wound and the fact that the neck only turns so far. He's now a bit loopy but hating that I'm keeping an eagle eye on his every move. I tried to make it fun by letting him choose a movie and ordered out pizza. I probably won't sleep well tonight as I will worry about him sleeping well. I am glad that he is on fall break this week so will have the rest of the week to recuperate. What a story he'll have to tell.

Just in case you are wondering, I did refrain from taking pictures until the doctor was ready to fix him up. The body really is an amazing thing.

Week Ending October 11, 2009

2009-10-12T21:19:00.000-07:00

Last week was a busy one for me and the kids. Monday I met Neil after work at the mechanics to drop off the red truck. It needed a seatbelt replacement. Who knew safety could be so expensive? Nick and Cierra wanted to go so I piled them in the green truck and off we went. They have such interesting conversations. I wish I could remember now what it was they were going on about this time. After getting Neil and Derek, we stopped at the QT for gas and the kids were allowed to go in and pick out a drink and a treat. Of course, Rachel was upset that she didn't get a treat and Cierra's drink was absconded by another child so Neil had to make a pitstop on the way home after taking Derek back to his mom's house to please the princesses.

Tuesday we went and picked the red truck up. Neil has obviously been working too long of hours. He called me from work and asked me to meet him at the mechanic's. I asked him how that would work since we would then have three vehicles and only two drivers. He met me at home and we headed up together. He lingered a bit too long after I dropped him off, but luckily, nobody showed up for scouts so he wasn't actually late for anything. Aaron had his combined activity at 6:30 - water balloon fights and treats. Neil took him over and then he got a ride home with one of his leaders.

Wednesday Neil had the late shift. Aaron asked to go to a church youth group with one of his school friends and Nick had a pack meeting. I took Daniel, Nick, and the two girls to the pack meeting, which luckily was fairly short. After the meeting I took the kids for ice cream. Baskin Robbins has a buy one get one free sundaes on Wednesday nights so the three little guys got a single scoop of chocolate and Daniel and I each got a sundae. We got home before Aaron made it back and so I got all the kids bathed and into bed, then crashed myself.

Thursday, the kids had a half-day so we had our cub scout den meeting right after school at which time I realized that I had failed to bring all the needed materials for our activity. So we learned the Cub Scout promise, motto, and sign. My goal is to have all the boys earn their Bobcat by Christmas. We scheduled a get-together for Saturday so the boys could work on their spaceships since we wouldn't be having a den meeting the following week due to fall break.

Friday was another half-day and I had parent-teacher conferences for all the kids. Cierra has Exceeds in the majority of the areas and Meets in everything else. I always wonder how the kids can be such geniuses at school when they seem to struggle so much at home. Nicholas is in the mostly meets area with a few spots where he is just a bit behind. But his teacher says that is typical for all the students because the concepts are ones that will be hit on throughout the year and complete meeting of the standard won't be accomplished until the third or fourth quarter. He does have some speech issues which translates into his writing. His "l"s are often heard as "w"s and his "th" sounds are expressed as "d"s. While this isn't completely unusual, the teacher is having a speech therapist come in to observe him to make a better determination and intervene if necessary. Meanwhile I am working with him and making him pronounce his words correctly and he loves to write words so I am able to use that desire to help him hear and write the words more phonetically. Daniel is doing great academically, but he still struggles socially with his anger management. He is very helpful when he wants to be, but can lash out quickly when he is upset or feels under attack. We haven't had any serious incidents this year so far, so I see improvement.

Friday night Neil and I went out to dinner. We went to the Sugar Bowl in downtown Scottsdale. After eating, we wandered the streets a bit and went into a shop that specialized in Native American goods. I was reminded of home looking at the kachinas and jewelry. I asked Neil what the date was and realized it was my dad's birthday. So I gave him a call and we talked for a little bit. I had talked to my mom earlier in the week so was pretty much up on all the latest news, but it's always good talking to dad.

Saturday was busy. I worked on cleaning the house in the morning while Neil went out to Ben Avery with Nick and Aaron. He needed to sight the gun he's taking next week when he goes on his elk hunt and thought he'd spend some time shooting with the boys. The sighting took a while and so they skipped the shooting part so they could get home. Cierra had a birthday party to attend at noon so I took her to that after leaving Neil and the older boys cleaning instructions. After the party, we stopped by the library to pick up some materials I had put on hold, then went to the grocery store to pick up some last minute necessities for the party. Everyone showed up around 5:00 and we got the boys busy gluing and sanding their spaceships. Only one boy got his done well enough to actually decorate, but he was the one I was most worried about because his mom is a single mom and doesn't have a lot of extra time. The other two moms are stay-at-home moms like me and the dads are pretty involved in the boys' lives. It was fun having new people over and getting more acquainted with the families. The boys had a blast playing out in the backyard and were quite disappointed when it was time to say good-bye.

Sunday was church. We got up at 7 and made it to church on time. I was subbing in primary and I think the lesson went pretty well. We talked about how serving others shows our love for Jesus. The kids wrote some thank you notes on flowers for the Bishop and then couldn't decide on who should get to take them, so we all went down to the Bishop's office to deliver them then headed back for sharing and singing time. The kids are practicing songs for the Primary Program coming up next month. They sure are getting really good. We were low on numbers due to fall break, but the kids who were there definitely made up in volume.

This week is fall break for the younger kids but Aaron only got today off for Columbus Day. So it's back to getting up at 5:30 in the morning for him and me. I'd better get to bed.

She's Too Young to Drink

2009-10-12T21:15:00.000-07:00

I wish I'd had my camera handy. Neil had picked up a few of those Pucker Up kids drinks and Rachel brought one to me to open. I did so and a couple of minutes later she brought another one. Assuming she was being nice to one of her siblings, I opened it as well. I got busy with various things and as we gathered together for family prayer, Rachel came into the room with a bottle in each hand. She took a swig from one, grinned at us all, and let out a beautiful belch. Lovely - I have a two-fisted drinker.

Things That Make You Go ... HMMMMM

2009-10-06T12:12:00.001-07:00

Nicholas: Mom, can we go on a trip for Christmas?

Mom: Where do you want to go?

Nicholas: Antarctica

Mom: Why Antarctica?

Cierra: Because they have snow.

Nicholas: And penguins.

Cierra: Maybe we could pray for snow.

Mom: And penguins?

Nicholas: Yeah

Cierra (simultaneous with Nick): Whaaat?

Week Ending October 4, 2009

2009-10-06T10:45:00.000-07:00

This past week was absolutely crazy busy. As popcorn kernel for the district, this is my busy month. Also, the work I do is sporatic, so of course, this was the week where we had a big load come in that needed to be processed. Thursday was probably the busiest day for me. I had to get the roundtable newsletter sent off, pick up the Show & Deliver popcorn, do the normal kid runs, code, verbatim, and QC a number of surveys for work, and attend Roundtable.

The other days weren't quite as busy, but I did receive a call from a temp agency who had found my resume online and had a position they were trying to fill at SRP - a place I have previously worked. So along with normal mommy duties, I had to fit in an interview, and time to take the various tests to show how well I know Microsoft Office. Which I found out was not so easy because I don't like having to pay for change so I have been working off of Office 2003 while the professional world has moved to 2007. When I had the computer revamped, I did get 2007 put on, but I am still getting used to the layout of the toolbar. All in all, I didn't do too badly and scored in the high 80s for each of the tests. The only one that I did much better in was the typing test - for which I typed 78 words per minute with zero mistakes. I was rather impressed with myself and even had to brag to Neil.

The one highlight of the week was the General Conference sessions. Since we don't have television service, we went to the chapel on Sunday to listen to the two sessions. We also spent the between-session time at the Rivera's with our ward enjoying crepes, pastries, and other brunch items. This was fun because it allowed the kids to see their friends and I got the opportunity to visit with people I don't normally get to see because of church callings.

Although the addresses are all really good, I was particularly struck by Elder Holland's strong testimony of the Book of Mormon. I hope that the older kids who are in seminary took note of his testimony as they are studying this book this year.

We did get to see Alyx on Wednesday. She indicated that she is going to seminary, YW, and church and is wanting to go. That is such a difference from those who go because parents force them, or don't go because parents don't want the fight. She also had homecoming this weekend and I'm looking forward to seeing pictures. The guy she went with is a "kinda" boyfriend as best I can tell. He is in her ward and they are both juniors at Shadow Mountain High. They read scriptures together over the phone and I am pleased that she has chosen to look to young men in the church for her dating choices rather than the crowd she has previously been with.

This week is already off to another busy start and there is much to do. So until next week, have a good one!

Week Ending September 27, 2009

2009-09-28T13:18:00.000-07:00

This week seemed busier than most. Probably because the computer went down and I had work I needed to do. I knew the computer had a virus and was in need of help beyond what I could give it. But with popcorn season beginning and various other work and scouting needs, I kept pushing off the inevitable. However, by Wednesday, the computer had pretty much quit being nice and I simply unplugged it and took it in for help. Luckily I had received a laptop for Christmas which I have pretty much avoided using for the past several months. And luckily, plugging it into the internet was an easy process and once I figured out that I could also plug in my mouse, rather than use the mousepad of the laptop, the switch wasn't too bad. I still prefer my desktop with the larger monitor. That may be because having hit 40, my body is showing signs of aging and the eyesight is probably needing assistance.

I had a number of meetings this past week - mostly scouting and mostly a waste of time. But I did have my first Tiger Den meeting which went fairly well. There are 5 boys with the possibility of a 6th joining. I do think we need a different room or at least get the one we're using to be less cluttered.

Thursday was a Mother's In Zion group meeting where we were given a number of wonderful ideas for getting children involved in family history. It made me realize how important the detailing of my life's events are at this point while they are fresh and I can still remember them. Most of the time, my week's are pretty mundane, but there are the few episodes that bear writing down and repeating. One day I can use them to amuse my grandchildren.

Friday night I attended the pack meeting of another unit for which I am the Unit Commissioner. They had a member of their pack who is involved in the Demolition Derbies who had brought his car and a video of a recent derby. Neil and I had to laugh because we recognized two other cars in the video as belonging to a couple of employees at our mechanic's shop.

Saturday I attended the General Women's Conference which I previously wrote about though not in detail. What I really loved from the meeting was President Eyring's address. He talked about the legacy that Relief Society women have left and the legacy we are continuing to build. I appreciate his humor and his humility. I suppose there were those who were disappointed that President Monson was not speaking, though he was in attendance, but I truly enjoyed listening to President Eyring.

We arrived to church a bit late on Sunday. I had been fighting a headache since Friday evening and believe that there may be some sinus issues involved as it keeps showing up even though I keep downing Advil. We got there just as the testimony portion of Sacrament Meeting began and we listened from the foyer to a number of sweet testimonies. I was supposed to help Neil with his class as he had both his class and the class just younger, but I ended up visiting with a sister in the hallway and made it back to Primary just prior to sharing and singing time.

We got home in time to get changed and have a realtor show up to show the house. Normally we keep away from Sunday afternoons, but since it was happening immediately after church, we allowed it. We had received word on Friday that another offer had been sent in, about $10,000 less than the previous offer so we will see what the bank says about this. I'm just tired of the waiting and not knowing. I had another lady come with her family today and because we haven't actually signed the other offer yet, I did let her know that if they offered the amount already approved by the bank, we would take that offer over the other one. She's coming back this afternoon with a contractor. It seems like a good sign. Now we'll just have to find a place to rent.

Sunday evening we had our Home Teacher come visit and then Neil and I headed over to the Eagle Court of Honor for a young man who we had known in the Granite Reef ward. I had been one of his Cub Scout Leaders and it was nice to see him complete this rank. He just turned 14 and has had incredible leaders and a grandmother who supported him and pushed him in attaining the award. Once again, we were welcomed back to the ward and asked when we were moving back. Most everybody knows the situation with the house and so we often get notices on which areas have homes available. Of course finding a home big enough and in our price range is going to be difficult, but possible with the Lord's help. I continue to trust in Him because I know things aren't going to happen if I try to do it all myself.

Well, I have other things to get to. Another week awaits.

Reverence

2009-09-26T20:03:00.001-07:00

I hold a calling in my ward as a substitute teacher in Primary. I actually love this calling because I get to interact with all the different children and it has given me great insight into where I want to focus in teaching as a school teacher once I finally complete my schooling. We don't have a large primary, but it's not small either. It is large enough that we can get some good volume when all the children are singing, but small enough that I can actually name all the children with the exception of a couple who are new in the ward.

In all my times of subbing, I have noticed is that there is a serious lack of reverence. The children come in from Sacrament Meeting and treat the Primary room as a social center. The pianist is usually in there playing prelude music, but it doesn't seem to help. All but one member of the Primary Presidency has children in Primary as do many of the teachers yet having mom or dad in there doesn't seem to be a deterrent to the noise level. My own children have felt my glowering stare as I mentally urge them to quit fiddling with their friends and set the example.

This evening I had the opportunity to join with sisters throughout the Stake for a light luncheon followed by the broadcast of the General Women's Conference. The lunch started at 3:30 and the broadcast began at 5:00. One would think that having an hour and a half to mingle, munch, and socialize would be sufficient and that upon entering the chapel with the anticipation of hearing from our General Presidency and Prophet, we could expect reverence. Me and a couple of other sisters from my ward went into the chapel about 15 minutes prior to the start of the broadcast. The screen showed choir members who were most likely singing prelude music as the timer counted down, but the volume had been muted. I was dismayed at the amount of noise from chitchat occurred while we waited.

Just prior to the start of the broadcast, the Stake Relief Society President made a few comments and we sang an opening hymn. Then the broadcast started and quickly ended. Due to technical difficulties, we watched the computer screen show the attempts of some lucky Priesthood holder to get the broadcast up and running. Instead of sitting quietly waiting, the noise level immediately increased and became so loud that even when the audio stream came back through with the opening hymn of the broadcast, the sisters didn't stop talking. They did quiet down for the opening prayer, but when all we received was the audio stream with no picture, it seemed as if reverence was now an option rather than the expectation.

Technical difficulties continued and included a re-boot of the computer system. Each time we lost the broadcast, we also lost reverence. At one point I became aware of a sister sitting two rows behind me who was speaking so loudly, she might as well have been speaking to me. I know I am not the only who was bothered by this, as the other 4 sisters sharing my pew quietly attended to their own notes and thoughts while we waited for the broadcast to resume. I am grateful for their sisterhood and reverent manner. But I am so disheartened by the actions of too many others.

I realize that opportunities to socialize with our church members outside of church are limited. But the chapel should be a reverent place where people can come in, sit quietly, reflect, meditate, or pray without the interference of others who want to socialize. If you are not ready to sit quietly, then perhaps you should not enter the chapel. And if we cannot set the reverent example to our children and others within the chapel, how can we possibly expect our children to act reverently when they are sent off to their Primary chapel?

Precious Things

2009-09-21T09:25:00.000-07:00

As I get older, I am losing things more often. Usually it is just a matter of misplacing things. It is very frustrating to go look for something in the spot I normally leave it to find it is not there. Sometimes I can blame others for having moved it, but I admit that I am guilty of setting something down with the intention of putting it in its proper place in just a moment and then getting distracted. I have come to rely on order in my life. Things need to be where they belong and people should be where they say they are going to be. I have too much going on in my life to keep track of all the little details.

My daily life is pretty routine. 5:30 am - wake up and get ready to take Aaron to seminary. 6:00 - leave the house. 7:00 - go pick him up and take him to school. 8:00 Take the other kids to school. 2:00 pm - pick Aaron up from school unless other arrangements have been made. 3:30 pick up the other kids, except on Fridays which is half day and I get them at 11:30. The time in between the drop off and pick runs is spent in a myriad of ways depending on what is going on that week. Once the kids are home, we get homework done and then they are on their own to entertain themselves as I strive to finish up work or make dinner or whatever else is using my energy.

Daniel is fairly quiet. He is the true middle child of the family and tends to get along with people of all ages. His classroom at school is a mixed grade of 4th - 7th grade students. He likes both boys and girls as friends and has not yet hit the years where girls are anything more than recess playmates. Because he did attend the public school in our neighborhood for a couple of years before we moved him to the charter school, he has friends in the area. They range in age from 7 - 14. Many afternoons he will ask to go out into the neighborhood and look for someone to play with. I know most of the culprits and where they live. I have phone numbers for those he associates with most often. I give him a fair amount of leeway and do not require a typed itinerary each time he leaves the house. He is required to be home before it gets dark.

Friday afternoon he took off to look for friends. Neil got home about 5:00, changed, finished packing the truck and left soon after for the scout trip with the older boys. I was at the computer dealing with popcorn orders for the district. I tend to use only natural light coming through the windows behind me until it gets dark enough to require I shut the blinds and turn on lightbulbs. As I began this ritual, I realized that Daniel was not yet home. I began making the phone calls. First house, no answer so I left a message. Second house, no answer and no machine. I decided to go drive through the neighborhood hoping that I would spot him on his way home, a young boy knowing he's in trouble and hastening his steps. I drove by the homes of his friends. I tried a third number but it kept going straight to voicemail. I left a message.

Returning home with no idea where Daniel was, I began to pray. Pleading for his safety and hoping that it was simply a case of getting too involved and not realizing it was dark outside. I called Neil to see if Aaron could tell me what Daniel had been wearing when he left and if he could tell me the exact location of another friend's house. Neil offered to come home but I told him it wasn't necessary yet. He assured me that he would be praying as well. He then made the fatal mistake of telling me how to discipline Daniel when he did show up. I guess from a guy's point of view, this is his way of saying he is confident that Daniel will be home soon and will need to be punished for making me worry. What I heard was that he was more concerned with the punishing of a child and addressing the "next time" when I wasn't even confident there would be a next time to address.

Just before I hung up the phone and prepared to go to the house of this third friend, I opened the front door and there was Daniel poised to ring the doorbell. Yes, there should be lectures and maybe a grounding for not being home before dark or calling. But I couldn't. I was just too relieved that he was safe. We did talk about communicating better in the future. If I wasn't afraid I'd lose it, I might consider the typed itinerary.

Week Ending 9/20/09

2009-09-21T09:14:00.000-07:00

This week was nothing exciting. I turned 40 and guilted all my facebook friends into saying nice things to me and sending me cute little cards and gifts. Other than that, it was pretty much normal everyday life.

Aaron, Derek, and Neil went on a scouting event called On-Target where Varsity scouts around Arizona set up mirrors and flashed each other. Our stake followed up the event with a service project. They then had their Court of Honor on Sunday at which all three boys earned various merit badges and rank advancements. Aaron is officially a Life Scout and Daniel is a Tenderfoot. Derek is still a Star but close to getting Life - I think it's just a matter of putting in the time for him.

Daniel had a birthday party to attend on Saturday and the whole family was invited. It was pretty cool. My mother-in-law showed up Saturday morning and gave me a birthday present. I appreciate the present, but I sure wish she would call when she was in town instead of just showing up.

Sunday was Ward Conference and Daniel gave a talk in Primary and Aaron had to prepare something for Priesthood. Since I wasn't in either place, I don't know how it went. I imagine a member of the bishopric would be calling me if they were setting forth false doctrine.

I'm in a definite funk and the marriage is unraveling. Neil and I talked a lot last night and he has agreed that we need counseling. I am hopeful but cautious. I'm tired of having the same fight over and over but so is he. I didn't realize that. I don't think he goes out of his way to do things that bother me, but it's the lack of thought that bothers me as well. I think we were able to identify some of the problems, but neither of us knows how to change things. It's not that we're unwilling, we just don't have the necessary tools. Hopefully counseling will change that.

On to another week.

It's a Guy Thing

2009-09-17T10:25:00.000-07:00

Being married twice and having four males children in the house, I have learned that there are a few things that guys can do that seem to elude the female abilities. It's not that we physically aren't equipped, nor is it because we don't want to do them based on the disgusting nature of the talent. There are plenty of things that fall into those categories.

I have been sick and while the majority of the symptoms have finally left my body, I am left with phlegm. It seems to creep up my throat and just sit there in the back of my mouth waiting for an opportunity to choke me. I've never been much of a spitter. I do not randomly hock a loogie. However, this is the type of phlegm that cannot be swallowed back down in hopes that it will seek another exit or dissolve itself into my other bodily fluids. It must be coughed up and spit out. The main problem is that it chooses the most inopportune times for wanting to gag me. While I sit at the computer typing, I can get up and run to the bathroom sink to spit up the latest attack. However, the phlegm tends to wait until I am driving somewhere before it plans a sneak attack.

I have gotten better at dredging the mucous out of my throat and spitting it down the drain. In an odd sort of way, it's fun to see how thick the particular glob of phlegm is, though not as much fun having to actually touch it because it was so thick it stuck to the sink. I have not yet gotten the hang of long distance hocking. And it's not like I'm trying to set any world records, but I cannot manage the distance from the driver's seat position out the driver's window. And I definitely do not spit while actually driving. If under attack, I will cough up the intruder and hold it in my mouth until I come to a complete stop. I then open the car door and spit it out onto the ground.

My husband watched in wonder this morning as I performed this ritual. He asked why I didn't just lean my head out the window and spit. Two reasons - one I'm not that tall so even the effort to lean out would leave me short the distance needed to get the spit outside of the car. I do not want to have thick phlegm running down the inside or outside the car door. Two - I have long hair. Not really long hair, but it's not the flattop he sports. This means that there is a good possibility that in the effort of hocking the loogie out, the wind would snatch it and throw it back into my face or worse, into my hair which would then smear it across my face. He said he understood, but he laughed at me anyway.

Yeah, it's a guy thing.

Political Unrest

2009-09-13T23:43:00.000-07:00

President Obama has been in the news quite a bit lately, and from what I've read, it hasn't been good. Admittedly, he's been in the news quite a bit ever since he announced his candidacy for President - moreso than any politician I've seen in the past. But it appears that he believes that the more he puts himself out there, the more chance he has of people liking him. Say what you will about the other candidates, President Obama ran his campaign as one who is running for a position in his high school student council. He was running for popularity. And it was on that platform that he won.

He is an eloquent speaker. He is a good-looking man with a good-looking family. He is charismatic. But good looks and pretty words only get you so far when you are the President of the United States. At some point, the people start expecting something solid from you. And for all the talking that President Obama has done, that's about all we've gotten from him.

Now I won't claim that he has single-handedly brought about the demise of our great country - there were factors in play that he simply had to take on because he sought this position. But he and his administration have made mistake after mistake and Obama is seeing that his popularity is failing. And although most celebrities will tell you that any publicity is good publicity, being a celebrity president isn't quite the same thing as being a regular celebrity. And in an effort to combat the poor ratings and negative publicity, President Obama does what he does best. Some may say it is the only thing he knows to do. He speaks.

He spoke to our school children. It seemed innocent enough and why was everybody making such a fuss? Well, because we don't trust him. In the eight months he has been in office, President Obama hasn't given us reason to trust him. So the last thing we want is to hear rumors that the President of the United States has deemed it necessary to speak to our children. Is it perhaps because he knows the adults are finished listening? Is it truly any wonder that there was such an uproar from parents across the nation? For those who have school-aged children, you may have had the opportunity to hear the speech yourself or have a conversation with your children about what they heard. None of my children were forced to listen to the drivel and I had no need to be concerned about opting out. But it was indeed drivel according to the media. Oh, the media hyped it as a feel-good speech, encouraging our children to stay in school and work hard and take advantage of the education that was being offered. But did we really need the President of the United States to tell them that? Does he assume that those who are actually still in school are not already hearing this from their parents, teachers, and community leaders? Does he believe that his message was actually heard by those who have already opted out of school, even when they are physically in attendance?

Then when the hubbub over that piece of intelligence grew less interesting, President Obama ramped up his efforts to convince Congress to pass his idea of health care reform. But see, here's the truth: President Obama is not supposed to be introducing bills into Congress - that's not his job. And so his speech to Congress wasn't him actually proposing his own bill, although if one gets passed, he will claim the credit. He was simply trying to make it look like he knew what he was talking about as he urged Congress to put aside differences so that a health-reform bill could be passed. What bill is that? The one that has been debated in Congress all along. And he wasn't so much urging all of Congress to work together to come up with a reasonable bill, but in a back-handed manner, disciplining those who opposed the bill as it now stands so that he gets his way and can claim some kind of credit for being so proactive on this subject. And as he stood before Congress and eloquently submitted the words which he or some speech writer had drafted earlier, he was heckled. Yes, that's what the media claims. A member of Congress who did not believe a word Obama was saying called him on it. From the peanut gallery came the call of "You Lie!" And the media jumped all over that - claiming that this outburst had hurt the GOP. Now granted, maybe the outburst went against congressional decorum, but seriously, folks - are we truly that upset that a representative of a body of Americans called Obama on the carpet? Shouldn't we be applauding this man for actually doing his job - that of representing his constituents? Shouldn't we be far more upset at the rest of the members of Congress who would rather go down in history for maintaining decorum than for doing their job and speaking for the people they represent.

Representation. This is what our government is supposed to be about. Representing their constituents rather than worrying about keeping their coveted offices. Well, I say "Kudos" to Joe Wilson from South Carolina. Thank you for being brave enough to go against the popularity contest winner. Thank you for doing your job and saying for us what we couldn't be there to say ourselves. And to President Obama - take a lesson from Representative Joe Wilson - remember that you are not there to be served, but to serve the people of the United States.

Week Ending September 13, 2009

2009-09-13T18:55:00.000-07:00

I love weeks that start out with a holiday. We didn't do anything special, but we did clean up around the house and then grilled some dinner. We were supposed to have lookers, but they never showed. I find it rather annoying when the agent doesn't at least call back to let us know they are not coming after all.

There wasn't anything really going on during the week other than our usual busy schedules. Tuesday Neil had his scouts, Wednesday I had book club. I hadn't had a chance to read the book, but was able to borrow a copy and am excited to read it. It is a autobiography about a young man growing up in the 70s/80s who has Tourette's Syndrome.

Neil had Thursday off so we ran a number of errands, including shipping my clarinet home so my niece can give it a try, checking with a computer place about the status of my computer which appears to be infected with a virus, running to the scout store for a variety of items, and a stop at Goodwill where I found a cub scout shirt - long sleeves with patches from a council in Idaho.

Thursday Daniel had his first football game. The charter school has joined with 3 other charter schools to play sports thoughout the year. Our team looked soooo pathetic compared to the other team. The other school is well-established and the players all looked to be middle-school aged. They were big, fast, coordinated, and had uniforms. Our players range from 4th - 7th graders and our talent pool is limited. They had a lot of heart and spirit though and the final score was 18-21 so we really didn't do too badly.

Friday is half-day for the charter school so I picked the kids up and we went to McDonald's where they met up with other kids from the school. I have stopped buying food for them because they don't eat most of it anyway - they just want to play.

Saturday, Neil had to work and I had a test for my schooling to begin my student teaching. It was a general knowledge test and I think I did pretty well. Science is obviously not my strong point and I honestly don't know whether the reduction in species along the coast of Costa Rica is caused by natural erosion or if industrial forces are in play. I also don't care but figure that if it ever comes up in my class, I can always do the research necessary or just tell the kids to do the research and let me know what they come up with.

Nick had a birthday party in the afternoon to attend and of course, all the other kids were upset they couldn't go. Such is life. I actually had Neil take Nick to the party and I dealt with the little girls, who actually were quite fine that I was at home with them and settled in to watch movies.

Today we had church and I got to sit through most of Sacrament Meeting before Cierra had to go to the bathroom. Because of where we were sitting, I was able to get out with only Cierra instead of being followed by Rachel and Nick as well. I helped Neil in Primary as we combined the class younger than his with his and with 8 kids in the class, it's always good to have a second teacher. With my birthday on Thursday, one of the sisters in Relief Society brought in my birthday present. I got a bookmark, post-it notes, and a magnetic picture frame.

We got home and I got a nap. Then the kids decided we needed to go swimming. The water was too cool for my taste so I laid out on Neil's hammock reading a book and keeping my eyes on the kids. Nick has gotten rather brave and though he isn't a great swimmer when you consider form, he is comfortable jumping in at the deep end and swimming back to the shallow end. The two little girls are less brave, but Cierra is starting to push her limits and Rachel swims back and forth under water along the steps.

Now it is time for reading scriptures and getting kids in the shower. Hope you all have a great week.

Week Ending 9/6/09

2009-09-06T23:24:00.000-07:00

It was a pretty quiet week. I was sick for most of it and Neil had odd schedules for work so we didn't see much of each other or the kids. I did have a work meeting on Tuesday so Rachel got to go play at a friend's house. She spent the rest of the week wanting to go back.

We were going to go camping for the weekend, but because of the illness going through me and the younger kids, we decided not to go after all. I'm a little disappointed as I have been wanting to go up to see the lava caves up near Flagstaff. So that is still on my to-do list.

We did make it to church on time and I enjoyed the testimonies borne. I missed a few because half way through, Cierra decided she needed the bathroom and that meant all three little kids had to go out. Rather than bring them all back in, we went and sat in the foyer. I don't particularly like doing that because they seem to think that it means free-play time. I did keep them reigned in somewhat but they were particularly antsy today. I taught Nick and Cierra's primary class and they were pretty well behaved in there. But the moment we got home and they changed clothes, they became overly rambunctious.

With tomorrow being a holiday, we had agreed they could sleep out in the family room on the pull-out bed. They decided to jump on it and broke some springs in the process. I'm hoping that is all the damage they did, but that was the last straw for dad and they were all sent to bed in tears.

We also let Daniel have a couple of friends over to spend the night, but the younger one just recently decided he was homesick so they both went back home. They just live in the next cul-de-sac so I walked them over after they called their parents to let them know they were coming home. It's almost midnight and we've got some plans to get up early to do some work on the house and yard. I'd best get to bed.

Schmucks in My Life

2009-09-04T16:31:00.000-07:00

I've come to the conclusion that I should never have gotten married. I'm not good with relationships. I seem to have very high expectations of the men in my life, and for the most part, have managed to scare them all off.

The one good man in my life is my dad. He hasn't yet been scared away, but I do notice that he keeps himself at a safe distance. Maybe that's why he's still good. He learned not to get close enough to get burned. I can't say we were particularly close growing up. My childhood memories are of a man who would come home from work, kiss my mom, get changed, and play. He let us crawl all over him. He would be our horse, our wrestling buddy, our serenador. He loved the guitar and he loved to sing. He wasn't necessarily good at either, but that didn't stop him. He would strum away while singing favorite folk songs. But, I wasn't "Daddy's Little Girl" ever. My oldest sister was his princess by birthright and the younger ones were just so adoringly charming that he couldn't help but love them. Me, well, I was a mess. A tomboy at heart, but so clumsy that I was a danger to myself and most household objects.

As I grew through the teen years, I just became more awkward - both physically and socially. We lived in a small hispanic town surrounded by Indian pueblos. Blonde-haired, blue-eyed, anomally. Yes, I know very well what it is like to live as a minority. My dad gave me lots of rope and, I suppose, hoped I wouldn't actually hang myself. I did multiple times, much to his chagrin. Yet, I never felt that I had actually disappointed him. I wonder, even now, how much he just pretty much expected I would do anyway. I wasn't particularly rebellious. I do remember one particular Halloween night when me and four friends told our parents we were each sleeping at someone else's house. We actually spent the majority of the night running through the town, avoiding the cops, ding-dong ditching, and eventually crashing out on the floor of another friend's living room. Dad probably knew before I got home the next day, but he's never said anything to me about it.

My interest in boys started in junior high, but since I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16, nor was I considered datable until even later, I mostly just flirted harmlessly. I did get a boyfriend my junior year. He was a younger man. He was a friend of a friend and was on the basketball team. I was on the drill team so we had a lot of afternoon practices. He lived in Pena so we flirted and eventually hooked up while waiting for our rides. Since he lived so far away and I didn't have my driver's license yet, our "dating" was relegated to the school campus. He eventually broke up with me because a senior girl wanted him and was willing to sleep with him to get him. I wasn't willing to sleep with him to keep him so he made his choice. He still used my locker for his stuff, and I was fine with that until he thought it would be okay to store his new girlfriend's stuff in it as well. I admit, I overreacted. Her stuff went on the hallway floor, his stuff went in the trash, and my friend and I switched locks. He didn't understand. Schmuck!

I stayed away from dating until I went away to college. Yes, I did go to my senior prom with a guy who wasn't my cousin. He was a friend from church, who admittedly I had had a crush on since he attended my older sister's 16 year birthday party. He also drove a motorcycle. But there wasn't any romantic interest on his part and so I enjoyed dancing with him at prom but soon after lost touch with him. Not enough heartache to be considered a schmuck.

College was full of schmucks. One of my favorites was the guy who dated me because of rumors that he was gay. I don't know whether or not he was, but I did find it interesting that I had heard nothing of the rumors until after we started dating and shortly after we broke up, he was removed from school. The one episode that really peeved me was the afternoon he had come into the apartment. The rule was that the curtains had to stay open if there was a guy in the dorm room. I had gone back to my bedroom to get something and while there, the phone rang. The person identified herself as one of the RAs and asked if there was a guy in the apartment. I said yes and she told me I needed to open the curtains. Sure enough, while I had gone to the bedroom, he had closed the curtains. Schmuck!

Another favorite was the one who started his romantic endeavors a week before Valentine's Day. I got teddy bears, hearts full of chocolate, and a date to the Sweetheart Dance. That night, after the dance, he walked me back to the apartment but then told me he wouldn't let me in unless I kissed him. So I kissed him on the cheek but he said he wanted more. It really wasn't about wanting to kiss him, it was that he used it as a way to keep me out of my house. So I told him he wasn't going to get more and he wasn't keeping me out of my house. I got a proposal from him two days later. He told me he had prayed about it and that we were supposed to get married. I told him I would pray as well, and did so, but wasn't surprised to get a resounding no. He was so surprised. Schmuck!

Not all the guys in college were schmucks, but I didn't find any long-lasting relationships there. The ones I was interested in didn't return the favor, and the ones who wanted me learned quickly that they didn't really. So after spending three years at college for a two-year degree which didn't include my MRS, I came back home. That was probably my biggest mistake. I had lived for three years rather independently and now was being stifled by a mother who thought I should somehow provide her with a daily agenda. It's no wonder I rebelled and moved out and then moved on.

I started dating a senior in high school. I should know better but it was just supposed to be a summer fling until I went on my mission. He wasn't even a member of the church, though he did take the discussions and was later baptized. I was supposed to leave in February for Japan, he proposed Christmas Eve in front of his whole family. Should've gone on the mission.

Needing some space, I moved to California and eventually returned the ring. I dated off an on, sometimes seriously, but usually not. I managed to end every relationship on somewhat good terms - as good as you can when you are telling someone you're just not that interested. Then I met a wonderful guy. But I was in a protective mode and he was having fun playing the field. We weren't exclusive, but I think most people in the single's ward thought we were. The scene embedded in my brain forever is when a good guy friend of mine came up to me at volleyball night and offered me congratulations. I had no idea what he was talking about so he quickly explained that he had heard "wonderful guy" was engaged and just assumed it was to me. Well, wonderful guy was engaged, but it wasn't to me. Would've been nice to have been on his list of people to tell before announcing it to the world. Schmuck!

Now on the rebound, I play hard at volleyball and end up breaking a guy's foot. Six weeks later we were married. After three years and one child, he tells me he's having second thoughts about being married. I tell him he better figure it out. If he's going to leave, he needs to leave now; if he's going to stay, he'd better be committed for life. Two more years and another child and he tells me that "God says we should get a divorce." Yeah, okay. Schmuck!

Not wanting to make another rebound error, I stay single for two years. Not a lot of dating since it's hard being a single mom and finding time for a relationship. I thought I'd found my soulmate with an old friend, but drinking at topless bars ranked high on his list of fun things to do, so that ended rather quickly. Next schmuck was the guy who came off as the perfect mormon boy. RM, divorced himself with 4 beautiful kids. Forgot to mention he had been excommunicated for adultery.

Finally I met the guy I'm now married to. We dated for over a year and his relationship with his kids and mine seemed perfect. Well, maybe not perfect, but normal. He was attentive, helpful, funny, sweet. He wrestled, he played, he swam. He didn't play the guitar or sing, but he reminded me so much of my own dad. So I prayed and he prayed and we both were told this was a good thing. Okay, my actual answer was "He is the right man in time." Maybe I jumped the gun. Maybe he was right but just not right then. Maybe he will be right if I just stick it out. Or maybe I just should never have gotten married. Maybe I'm the problem in all of this with my high expectations for what a dad should be. I don't want him to be a schmuck, but it's nicer than some other words I can think of.

Week Ending August 29, 2009

2009-08-30T18:48:00.000-07:00

It has been a busy week though nothing out of the ordinary. For the kids, it was school and scouts as usual. For me and Rachel, we visited the library, McDonald's and went grocery shopping. For Neil, it was pretty much just work. Tuesday night he did take his 11 year old scouts to the Arizona Science Center which has the Lego Display going on right now. It is one of the perks of being an employee at Chase.

Yesterday we cleaned up the yard a bit as we had a couple of trees attacking visitors to the house. Cierra had a birthday party to attend and Neil and I had a scout dinner, for which I was the MC. I think it went rather well but I always have the jitters and don't ever get to actually enjoy the food. I do this for our district dinner every year.

Today we went to church. It was a small group as our ward had a service responsibility putting on a Sacrament Meeting for the Randolf House. I'm not sure of the details as Aaron wasn't forthcoming and Neil and I are usually in Primary where communication tends to get overlooked. So Aaron didn't go, even though he should have, because he was supposed to meet at the church at 5:00 am. Honestly, that is not a time that usually exists in my day. I was torn between letting him stay home and making him go to church. If I let him stay home, the church members attending would not know that he hadn't gone to the service project but letting him stay home seemed like he was being rewarded for not going to the project like he should have. So I made him go where he had to go to the adult classes since all the rest of the youth were at the project or had stayed home.

After getting home from church, we had the kids change clothes and took them to the Museum of Natural History. I had been able to get free passes from the library but because of the limited hours of the museum, today was the only day that worked into our schedule before the passes expired. Some may claim it wasn't very sabbath-ish, but we were together as a family, it was somewhat educational, and we made the kids dress nicely (collared shirts and nice pants) in order to help remind them that today was still Sunday. The kids seemed to enjoy it and Neil would like to go back without the kids so he could spend the time reading all the posters and placards throughout the exhibits. Having kids who can't read but are mobile does cause you to go through the exhibits a little more quickly than you might want.

Well, they have all bathed so we need to go read scriptures and get everyone to bed.

Chocolate

2009-08-28T09:25:00.000-07:00

I'm not a big fan of shopping. I particularly don't like taking kids shopping because they want everything. But we're about out of milk so it's a necessity. After dropping the kids off at school, Rachel and I head to the grocery store. As we get to the milk area, she clamors for chocolate milk. Hanging off the doors enclosing the dairy reefer, are bottles of chocolate syrup. She wants that too. The little bottles of flavored milk are on sale, so I grab one of those for her. Next up - eggs.

I open the door and pull out a carton to check for cracked eggs. Rachel discovers that in the reefer next to the one I am working with is another shelving unit full of eggs. These are the organic, special, pricier eggs. All of a sudden I hear her exclaim - Mommy! Chocolate eggs!

No dear, those are just brown-shelled eggs.

The Art of Blending

2009-08-25T09:54:00.000-07:00

I've never been much of an artist. I appreciate art and recognize a talent in others that does not exist in myself. I am aware that most artwork involves some amount of blending. There is true genius in the eye that can catch the subtle differences in shades of green which allow the artist to create a tree that actually looks like a tree.

I stay away from actually pursuing such talent on my own. I have been accused of being unable to blend my own makeup and am sure that I have been seen with that tell-tell line around my chin because I couldn't blend. My mother didn't care for makeup and my relationship with my older sister was not one where I would rely on her for advice - she would have ensured a clownish look just for spite. But because I had a blotchy, pale face, not wearing makeup was not an option. I guess I would rather have the chin line rather than expose my freckled self to my high school peers.

I have been attempting another type of blending for the past 7 years. Neil and I are in a second marriage for us both. We each brought two children along for the ride along with a lot of baggage. Personally, I could do without his baggage. They say women over pack, but in this case, I'm the one with the overnight bag while he has the 7-piece luggage set with garment bag. I realize that for the most part, this is not his fault. My ex-husband allowed me to slip away with my two boys and live a new life with little interference. While I am sometimes saddened that my boys do not have a better relationship with their father, the reality is that my life is much easier because of it. He sends a monthly child support check while I get to make all the decisions. Honestly, it's not much different from when we were married.

Neil on the other hand has an ex-wife who is angry and bitter. She hates me simply because I exist. I have been accused of a number of things and labeled as white trash. I do not take any of this personally because she doesn't actually know me. Seriously. We've technically never met. Oh, I've seen her at a few of the children's events, but I'm sure she could never pick me out of a crowd even if I was the only woman there. However, she does everything she can to influence the children to hate both me and Neil. And though I try not to take things personally, it still hurts that they would repeat the things she says when they are angry or upset. It is easy to keep my mouth shut and not retaliate towards them. I know, after all, that they are just words. It is much harder to not have made-up scenes repeat themselves in my head whenever I have down time. Often I am in a court setting banishing the evil ex-wife out of our lives with my quick wit and logical arguments. She can only sit in humiliation as she has no wit or logic.

The hardest part in all of this is how it affects the rest of the family. It seems so unfair that the hateful venom of a woman who should have no part of my children's existence, can cause their father to become so tense that he lashes out at home because he cannot lash out at her. For my two boys who have no real dad to speak of, Neil is supposed to be their protector and example. Instead, he becomes an attacker and it divides our family. I want to love and support him as a faithful wife should. Yet, my children are just children. They do not have the maturity and understanding that I have as an adult to recognize that his actions are actually reactions and need to be forgiven rather than resented. So I must protect them from him and try to explain that this isn't who he really is.

At church during Sacrament Meeting, the high councilman speaking was talking about how we are often faced with challenges which lead us to plead for them to be taken away. The trial is more than we can bear. I have contemplated numerous times how much easier it would be to just walk away from his children. After all, they are the ones who claim they don't want to come or want to go back to their mom's house when they don't get what they want here. Give them what they want. Terminate parenthood and just let us be happy with our little family that remains. But I realize that it would not truly be happiness. Regardless of Neil's actions, I know that he truly loves his children - all of them, even mine who are his by sealing if not by blood. I could not ask him to give up Alyx and Derek even though it seems it would make life easier, nor do I want them to disappear from our lives. My hope is that as they grow older and mature, they will recognize our love for them as sincere regardless of the vile ramblings their mother may spew.

I guess an artist would say that you don't use all the colors of the palette to get the shade you want, but each color used is vital if you want your work to capture reality. Reality is that blending a family is not easy, but each individual is crucial for the picture to be complete.

Week Ending 8/23/09

2009-08-23T19:00:00.000-07:00

School is now in full swing and schedules are getting ironed out. Rachel is home with just me so we'll see how long we can enjoy this before I drive her nuts.

Monday was a horrid day. I had received some calls from agents wanting to show the house so I spent the morning getting the house cleaned up from our return from camping. It didn't take too long and Rachel and I headed out about noon. We didn't get very far before we had a tire blow-out. So I pulled to a side street, opened up the back of the suburban and started pulling out the jack and other tools. The spare tire was wedged in pretty tight so it took me some time trying to get it out. While I was struggling, a truck pulled in behind me with three guys. They offered to change the tire for me (woo hoo!!!) but the jack we have didn't fit well anywhere on the truck. Luckily they had one and the tire was changed out without too much effort on my part. I headed over to Discount Tire and ended up being sent to another store which had the tire in stock. While I was there, I had them check out the other tires since this was the second blow-out in less than a month. The other rear tire was just as old (7 years) so made the decision to go ahead and change it out rather than wait for another blow-out.

By the time the tires were changed, it was time to get the kids from school. I picked them up and headed out to Mesa to buy some scriptures for Aaron to have for seminary. We also stopped by D.I. to check for school uniform clothing for the kids. Not much luck in the shirt department but found the boys some pants and also picked up a couple of pair of scout pants.

Tuesday was better. Aaron started seminary and seems to be adjusting to his new schedule pretty well. He had received his school supply lists so we did some shopping after picking him up, then it was time to get the other kids.

Wednesday and Thursday had similar schedules with more realtors wanting to show the house. We included a trip to the library and a visit to McDonald's playground. Friday was a half-day for the younger kids and I had a job interview. I'm not sure about the job. It would be a great opportunity and I know I could do the job. Rachel would end up in day care, but I don't see that as a negative. She'd be at the same place as the kids' charter school so I wouldn't have any additional running around. My biggest concern is getting my own schooling finished. I have two more courses to finish up for my Bachelor's and then I am set to start student teaching in the spring. I hate the idea of starting a job knowing that I'd need a 12-week hiatus while I do the student teaching.

This is when I turn to prayer, but the truth is, I'm afraid of getting an answer. I'm afraid of not knowing if I'm getting the right answer. I'm afraid this is going to be one of those answers where it doesn't really matter which decision I make because there are good things to come out of each choice. I like things logical and neat and straight-forward and prayer requires faith and understanding and patience. Not really my strong points. I believe in the concept of prayer and I can say that I have had answers to prayers. But I've also had a lot of non-answers in which I am responsible for just making the decision and I usually screw those up.

Friday night the boys went on a campout and I took the three little kids to a pack meeting. Nick wants to be a Tiger Cub so we're checking out different packs. Saturday we did some house-cleaning and then took the kids to a birthday party. Neil got home with the older boys about 6:00 and had to run off to a scout meeting - which ended up being a waste of time since nobody else showed up that should have been there. They're going to try again on Wednesday. When we called home to get food orders, we learned that Derek had taken off. Neil finally tracked him down and had a conversation with him. It pretty much ruined the rest of the evening and weekend.

This morning we got up and got everybody ready for church only to get out to the suburban with a dead battery. We shoved everyone into the green truck and made it to church almost on time. The chapel was packed so we went to the other side from where we normally sit. As we were getting ready to go in, Rachel threw a fit so I sat out with her while the others went in. I finally got the problem out of her - she didn't have any shorts on under her dress. I'm not sure why this is critical. Cierra started the habit as soon as she was potty-trained and Rachel just assumes this is the normal attire for church. She survived church but we were joined in the foyer by Neil and Nick and then Cierra. The talks were good - at least from what I heard. I really enjoyed the talk given by Sister Cherrington. It was neat hearing how she had met Paul and I appreciated her testimony.

I took Rachel to nursery and ended up talking to one of the sisters I visit teach. I was supposed to teach one of the primary classes, but noticed the teacher was back. When I talked to her, she had prepared the next lesson so she sat with the kids in opening exercises, I taught the lesson, and we both went in for sharing and singing time.

Well, all the kids are showered and ready for bed so we need to go have family scriptures and prayer. Here's to another week.

Those Little Idiosyncracies

2009-08-21T09:28:00.000-07:00

I've been mulling this over for a while. I think I'm OCD. I know everybody has little things that make them unique but don't actually interfere with their daily lives. I've mentioned my candy-eating strategy to others in which any type of candy such as M&Ms or Skittles that can be categorized by color must be eaten by color. And each side of the mouth must get equal chewing time. Yeah, it's weird, but it doesn't interfere with the important stuff.

I've discovered a new game. It's rather annoying actually. You all know the car game where you have to find the letters of the alphabet, right? There are variations on the rules such as whether the letter has to be starting the word or how many letters you can use from a particular sign. Rules really only matter if you are playing against other people. I don't play well with others so the rules don't really matter when I play. And I don't normally play but found myself doing this when I was working at the Cub Scout Day Camp in June. I had to do something to keep myself awake on the drive home. But the problem with driving the same route everyday is that you get to know where all the letters are. So to keep myself more alert, I changed from looking for letters to looking for numbers. You start at 1 and go as high as you can. Numbers can be from signs, license plates, car advertisements, street addresses, etc. You have to find the numbers in order and they must be truly together (no getting "12" from "6201" just because it has the 1 and the 2).

It was entertaining for the month of June but now it's getting obsessive. I have many opportunities to find numbers driving around as I cart kids to and from seminary, to and from school, to and from scouts, to and from friend's houses. And because some drives are short, the game culminates throughout the whole day. Now admittedly, I have learned a few things from playing this game.

1) There are a lot of people out there with personalized license plates. I wouldn't say half or even a fourth, but probably 1/10th of all license plates are personalized. Most of them do not include any numbers.

2) I can tell you the street numbers for all major east-west streets. Thunderbird is 13800 in case you care.

3) I know the best route driving west-east to get all the numbers off of the street signs and which ones will cause problems. For example, there are no street signs/numbers between 34th and 36th street on Bell so if you don't get the 35 from a license plate quickly, you're pretty much screwed on Bell.

4) There are a lot of discrepancies between the left and right sides of the streets regarding house numbers. I'm not sure who came up with the numbering system, but they didn't do a very good job. In the course of the game, though, this can come in handy.

Yeah, I'm definitely OCD.

What To Do?

2009-08-21T09:23:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling off today. I'm not sure but I think this started awhile ago and it's just now catching up with me. I started working from home part-time and really enjoyed the work. Then the company called and asked me if I wanted to help in another department as well. Sure, why not? So I got trained for that and am still waiting for any kind of work to come from that area. But I also have an interview today with the owner who indicated he wants to discuss additional work. I'm excited about that. I think I know why I'm off.

The kids went back to school and I only have Rachel left at home. We have gone to the library, done some school supply shopping, gone grocery shopping, cleaned the house, gone to McDonald's while the house is being seen by potential buyers. I'm bored. I have a lot of empty time now and when all the kids are gone, it is a lot easier and faster to clean the house.

So I'm really, really hoping that this interview will bring more work to fill my time or I'm afraid I will turn to inane postings here at my blog.

The Education of Little Tree (by Forrest Carter)

2009-08-18T11:16:00.000-07:00

I decided to wait until I had attended our Book Club meeting before I wrote my review of this book. Then, fiasco hit and I was unable to stay for the Book Club meeting and never got back on to write about the book.

I did learn quite a bit from the few minutes I was there about the author and while this knowledge is a bit disappointing, it does not take away from the lessons that can be learned from Little Tree.

The book's introduction touts it as an autobiographical account of the author's life with his grandparents. The truth is that Forrest Carter was born Asa Earl Carter and was a known segreagationalist and unofficial speech writer for George Wallace. It is unknown if there is any Cherokee ancestry for him to claim. Though many claimed he was Asa Carter, the author denied these claims. And though he was indeed Asa Carter, can anyone wonder at his decision to deny his identity? It is quite possible that he recognized the wrongs he had done and, in making a break from that life, simply decided to denounce the man he had been and allow himself a new life.

The book, now known to be a fictional account of a young Cherokee boy raised by his grandparents, offers many life lessons. It does portray the white man critically and embellishes the Cherokee Way. But as I look at the world we now live in, the book invoked a desire to return to a society in which decisions were not dicated by the almighty dollar.

Lessons Learned

Children will learn by example and by doing. Many times throughout the book, Little Tree learns how to do things because his grandpa does them with him. Though Little Tree is only five years old at the start of the book, and has lost both his parents, he is not coddled or mollified into being useless. He is expected to work, but not alone. He and grandpa till the field, make whiskey, carry their wares to the store, gather nuts, berries, and other food, and collect wood. He is not expected to do much, but he is given the opportunity to do his full share. As he and grandpa get older, the tables turn and Little Tree now takes on a greater portion of the burden and grandpa's abilities lessen.

The only way you will learn is through experience. As parents, we often want to protect our children from the harshness of the world. We want to limit their exposure to failure, greed, cheats, and bad judgments. Yet, if they are to truly learn, we cannot shield them from the bad parts of life. Little Tree is paid for the work he does with his grandpa and saves up with the intention to purchase a present for his grandma. However, at market one day, he chooses to purchase a calf from a young man claiming to be a Christian. He gives all his money (50 cents) in exchange for the calf. Unfortunately, the calf is sick and doesn't even make it back up the mountain. His grandpa explains that he had to let him make the purchase so that future purchases would be made with more caution.

Teaching a man is better than providing for the man. This is the old adage "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." This is one of those lessons that I wish more people would learn - especially our government leaders. I received an email about a woman on welfare who was complaining because her house wasn't good enough and her television wasn't a plasma. She had lived in government housing since she was born and had worked for only one year. She claimed the experience was so horrible, she just couldn't do it anymore. Heaven forbid she provide for herself.

It's Not All Good

Although the book was enjoyable, I disliked the way it portrayed "civilized man." The lesson that Little Tree failed to learn was that you can't just lump everyone into a category. If a person was dressed up, he was automatically a politician and you couldn't trust him. Religious people were scoffed at simply because different factions disagreed on religious points. The young man selling the calf claimed to be Christian and the lesson Little Tree got out of that experience was to never trust a Christian.

I would give the book 3 out of 5 stars. It's a quick read, once you get into it. It offers some great lessons, but remember that the book is told from the point of view and a 5-8 year old so some of the lessons and observations are skewed.

Week Ending 8/16/09

2009-08-18T10:58:00.001-07:00

What a busy week. We had the three younger children start school on Wednesday so Monday was our meet-the-teacher night. We did some recruiting for cub scouts as well. Nick is so excited to finally be a cub scout. He's worn a uniform for so long without being official. I'm going to be his Tiger leader. Most people think I'm crazy given all I already do in scouts, but I admit, I covet the knots. Being the leader will give me another knot to have Neil sew onto my shirt. I can never get them centered correctly.

Derek was sick with strep all week so we didn't get to see him until Sunday night at the Seminary fireside. Aaron will be at the Waltann building with Bishop Tate as his teacher. Derek and Alyx will be at the PV Stake Center. Derek will have Sister Dahl, previously of the Stake YW Presidency, and Alyx gets President Case - recently released as the 2nd counselor in the PV Stake Presidency. As the teachers were introduced at the fireside, I realized that I had had some type of knowledge of all but one of the teachers, so that tells me they are pulling the best of the best to lead our youth in Seminary. Most were prior bishops, presidents, and leaders at the stake level.

We were invited to join some friends on a camping trip this weekend so Neil and I reviewed our finances and made the decision to purchase a tent trailer. It was hard to make such a major purchase given the uncertainty of our home, but we realize that any vacations we take will have to be done driving so the tent trailer allows us to travel without feeling like such an invasion on family and friends. We also figured that in a worst-case scenario, we could always live in the tent trailer if we had no other option.

The camping trip was great. We went to Kaibab Lake up near Williams/Flagstaff. The weather was rather windy so though fishing was attempted, there was not much success. Our friends were able to catch a rainbow trout and a large-mouth bass and Neil was shown how to clean a fish. The kids were very excited about this and even ate some of the fish after it had been cooked.

The remainder of the week was filled with school, scout meetings, and general running around. This week has started out busy which is why I am late posting last week's review.

The Out Of Towners (Starring Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn)

2009-08-10T21:30:00.001-07:00

This movie version of a Neil Simon play is a fun, light-hearted comedy with great actors. Martin and Hawn star as a couple from Ohio going on a trip to New York. Share in their ride as they get re-routed, have their luggage lost, get mugged, attend a sex-a-holic group meeting, air their dirty laundry, and get put in jail - all in less than 24 hours. Martin and Hawn are joined at the hotel by John Cleese who plays the perfect brown-nosing, snooty concierge, born and bred in New York. This is an older movie so if you can't find it at the rental place, try your local library.

Daily Funnies

2009-08-10T21:04:00.000-07:00

Today was a busy day. I tried to get all of the kids up at 7:30. This is the time they will all need to be up on Wednesday and the rest of the school year. Except for Aaron, who, at 7:30 am, will actually be at school and should have been awake for at least an hour already. Daniel got up, used the bathroom, and went back to bed. When I called to him, okay, yelled at him to get up, he claimed he was up, he was just making his bed from the inside.

Nicholas, on the other hand, jumped out of bed, ran to find me, and requested to play the PlayStation (TM). Never mind that 1) he is still in his boxers, and 2) we have a standing rule that you do not ask to play the PlayStation (TM) before 9 am.

Cierra claimed she needed help getting dressed, but when I went to find her, she had already changed and left her pajamas on my floor. I'm still not sure exactly how that happened since she emerged from her own room fully dressed yet I never saw her go from my room to hers in just her underwear. It is possible that she has learned to transport, but highly unlikely.

I had promised Daniel a one-on-one trip to go shopping. He is really into magic tricks and had been told by a friend about a store over by the mall. To make sure I headed for the right place, I looked it up online first. I verified the name of the store with Daniel and he assured me I had the right name. Sorry son, Optical Illusions is an Optometrists office.

Aaron had asked me prior to leaving if he could go to a friend's house when we returned. I told him we would see how the day was going. I returned from shopping and had picked up fast food for lunch. Of course I had forgotten Rachel's cheeseburger (she usually eats the chicken nuggets) so had to dash out for another run. After the kids had eaten, Aaron approached me again about going to his friend's house. His friend lives approximately half a mile away.

Aaron: I know you probably don't want to go back out so can I just ride a bike over?
Me: Sure
Aaron (coming back in from the garage): All of the bicycles are flat.
Me: You could skateboard over.
Aaron: I'm not that good at skateboarding, and the roads aren't really great for riding my ripstick.
Me: You could always walk.
Aaron: uhhhh
Me: Or here's an idea - go out to the garage and use the compressor to fill up the tires on one of the bikes.
Aaron: I'll just ride my ripstick.

And here's the kicker. Two hours later he called to find out when we were planning on picking him up. Because of our evening activities, I told him he had an option in pick-up times (heaven forbid I suggest he ride his ripstick home). We settled on one and then I asked him what he was up to. He and his friends were walking to Circle K. Not the close one, the one up at 56th street and Bell. The one at least three miles away.

Kids - you've got to love them. Killing them is a federal offense.

G-Force (starring a bunch of rodents)

2009-08-10T07:44:00.001-07:00

This furry adventure tells the tale (tail?) of a special force of agents pursuing a master-mind criminal. The agents are animals - rodents actually - who have special equipment which allows them to talk to and be understood by humans. Things get complicated when their infiltration comes with a few bugs (literally and figuratively) and the animal force gets shut down. The rodents want a second chance and have to fight through pet shop adoptions, garbage trucks, and appliances gone lethal. The movie includes a couple of unexpected twists - one that was actually just useless information and one that leaves you smacking your head for not seeing it coming.

It's a cute movie but not one that you have to see in the theaters. Save your money until it comes out on DVD, or if you do want the theater experience, take the kids to the drive-in where prices are cheaper and you have the option of staying for a second movie.

Seven Pounds (starring Will Smith)

2009-08-09T18:57:00.001-07:00

Not having television has led to an influx of movie-watching. Luckily, we have access to a wonderful public library which doesn't charge to borrow movies (unless you return them late). I like Will Smith. He was funny in his television debut as the Fresh Prince and has matured into an excellent actor who has not allowed himself to be pigeon-holed into any given character. I don't like all of his movies, but the only ones I won't watch are those with an R rating.

It took me two times watching Seven Pounds to get it all. Partly because it has a lot of subtle nuances and partly because I first tried watching it at 10 pm. I watch a lot of movies that way and not all of them get a second viewing. Some of them shouldn't have received a first viewing, but I digress.

In a nutshell, Will's character, Ben Johnson, has the ability to seriously change the lives of 7 people, but it requires him sticking to the plan. The plan starts to go somewhat awry when he becomes emotionally attached to one of the seven. Will the attachment prove to be the undoing of the plan or will Ben stick to the plan even though he will have to give up the attachment?

If you choose to watch this movie, (and I highly recommend it) make sure that you set aside a time where you won't be distracted or fall asleep.

Week Ending 8/9/09

2009-08-09T18:26:00.000-07:00

It was the last week before school started so we tried to get everyone on a schedule. Aaron had a couple of camps to attend for high school on Monday - Thursday. He seems to be comfortable with the campus and looking forward to starting school. He's not quite as excited about starting seminary but like his mother, he's not a morning person. He spent his after-camp time with friends either here or at their homes. It's nice to know he has friends.

We pulled out school clothes for Cierra that I had bought back when Mervyn's was going out of business. She tried them on and they fit so she's got a week's worth of clothes. As often as we do laundry here, keeping a clean outfit shouldn't be a problem. The problem will probably exist as she gets picky about whether she is willing to wear the skirt or wants to wear shorts. Luckily, Nick's and Daniel's clothes still fit from last year so we should be good until one of them hits a growth spurt. And since they both have shorts, and we have short-wearing weather until at least November, we might be able to put off buying school uniforms until Christmas (because that's *exactly* what they want for Christmas).

Wednesday Nick was invited to a birthday party for a friend. It was held at an aquatics center in Scottsdale. I had been told that I could bring the other children and just pay the entrance fee for the additional people. I was going to just bring Daniel since the birthday boy has an older sibling close to Daniel's age, but after some fits of anguish from the little girls, I dragged them along as well. It turned out to be a good deal as the front desk people did not charge anything additional for the rest of the family to come in and I verified with the party-thrower that she was not going to get charged anything for us. Since she had paid in advance, she assured us that we were fine.

We had Roundtable Thursday night, Derek had his OA meeting and Aaron went to his Varsity Huddle. Daniel watched the little kids while we were gone. He is a great sitter as long as he doesn't get into a bad mood. Luckily, no bad mood on Thursday and the kids were ready for bed when we got home.

I picked up some more work with ServiceTrak so went in for training on Thursday and finished up the work Saturday evening. In addition to doing the coding and verbatim, I am also doing the QC. I was wondering how I was doing on my own entering and after seeing what others are doing, I feel so much better about my own performance. I have a few typos, but I guess having majored in English has more benefits than I realized. I always joke that the only thing I'm qualified to do is correct your grammar. Well, that's exactly what QCing is about in this job, so it's working out.

Derek had a friend come over Saturday while Aaron and Daniel both went over to friends' homes. Neil took Derek back to his mom's house so Derek could attend a friend's farewell on Sunday. He picked up Aaron on his way home, Daniel had come home already and was wanting to go see a movie. I suggested that Neil take the two boys to see a movie but Aaron chose not to go. Since I was now done with my work assignments, we left Aaron to watch the little kids while Neil, Daniel, and I went to see G-Force. We got back late - around 11, sent Daniel to bed, and popped in a movie to go to sleep to. Wrong movie. Neil and I watched the Out of Towners and then threw in The Man From Snowy River. I think we finally fell asleep somewhere in the 2:00 hour.

Of course, today was Sunday and Aaron had to speak in Sacrament Meeting. The alarm went off at 7 and I kept hitting snooze until about 7:30. Then I turned off the alarm with every intention of getting up. I got up at 8:15 and quickly scrambled to get everybody else up and ready for church. Neil commented that one of us could always take Aaron over and the other could bring the rest as soon as we were ready. Instead, everyone was ready by 8:45, in the truck by 8:50, and at church at 8:55. Proving that you can get a family of 7 up and ready for church when properly motivated. This is not a request to my bishopric counselors to extend more opportunities for our family members to speak in church.

Well, we need to go read scriptures and get kids ready for bed.

Bless You

2009-08-03T16:31:00.001-07:00

Cierra (sneezes): Mom, when I sneezed, my ears said something.

Henry Poole Is Here

2009-08-02T21:34:00.000-07:00

This was an unexpected movie. I picked it up because it stars Luke Wilson. This usually means a light-hearted comedy with some romance - perfect for a lazy Sunday evening. Well, romance was involved, but not as the main plot. Instead, Luke plays a man who is forced to deal with hope, faith, and miracles when he would much rather be left alone to die.

Henry Poole moves to a small community close to where he lived as a boy. His childhood memories are not great - parents fought a lot and made homelife miserable. But he moves back to this neighborhood after being diagnosed with a fatal disease. He buys a home in need of repair but foregoes any negotiations on the price. The stucco work is completed even though he has requested nothing be done. A bad water stain appears to contain the face of Christ. Poole's neighbors experience their own miracles when they come to visit the stain, much to Poole's chagrin. And though he is witness to the miracles, he will not acknowledge them as such, nor test the power of the stain to cure his own disease.

In the end, Poole destroys the stain, the wall, and part of his house. But out of disaster comes more miracles. Definitely worth watching regardless of your own faith in miracles.

Week Ending 8/2/09

2009-08-02T20:08:00.000-07:00

Well we're into August and the countdown to school has begun. It is exciting to know that all the kids except Rachel will be in school. I'll have two years with just her at home so this year will be for fun, and next year I'll look at doing Joy School with her if I can find some others to join in.

This week was a vacation week for us. Moreso than most. We had Alyx and Derek with us until Thursday evening. Neil had committed to a job for a guy we know through scouts so he had the two older boys help him with that in the mornings before it got too hot, then spent the afternoon playing. He had also received a phone call on Sunday evening asking for help Monday morning with a move-in. He took all four boys with him to that and they got done rather quickly.

Wednesday we went to a Diamondbacks Baseball game against the Phillies. D-backs won which was a nice surprise. We had earned tickets through the library reading program so the seats weren't great, but it was all about the family time. Of course, the majority of my family time was running back and forth to the food stands, but that's okay. It meant Neil got to sit and watch the game (sort of). I sometimes wonder if he really wants children. He often talks about how much more he would enjoy an event if the kids weren't there.

Thursday we got up early and took the kids to the zoo. I've come to realize that the zoo just isn't that much fun anymore. The animals are basically the same each time we go and the kids would rather ride the carousel and play at the water areas than walk around looking at smelly animals. They do have a new water area with slides and waterfalls so if you do decide to go, wear a swimsuit or bring a change of clothes.

Neil took Alyx and Derek back to their mom's house later that night. I took Aaron over to a friend's house so he could go camping with them for the weekend. When Neil got back, we got all the kids in bed and took advantage of having our own pool with some night swimming.

Friday Neil went over and finished up the porch project and I got some work done here. I'm doing data entry work for a company owned by a couple in our ward. I'm really enjoying it and was honored to be called Friday evening and asked to help out with some QC. I haven't had any training on it, but it seems to be pretty standard. Basically I'm just checking over the work entered to look for spelling, grammar, and coding errors.

Saturday we had somebody come look at the house so we took the kids out for breakfast at Village Inn and then ran errands. We got back to the house around 3:00 and I took a nap. When I got up I took care of the QC stuff and then headed back to bed.

Today we woke up late but made it to church almost on time. It was Fast and Testimony meeting and I enjoyed listening to the many testimonies born. I was particularly happy to hear about the sealing of Jackson to his parents. They are leaving on Wednesday for Grenada where Dustin will be doing Medical school. They had been a little stressed because they have been trying to get all the paperwork in place prior to them having to leave. Once again, the Lord does things with his own timing and at the time that will most benefit us. Lyndzee made the comment that she knew she could never have reason to doubt that Heavenly Father lives and is watching over us. To do so would indicate that she had forgotten the blessings He had sent previously. This was a big blessing and it was truly awesome to see the effect it has had on their lives.

After Sacrament Meeting, I picked up my Visiting Teaching paperwork. Lyndzee had been my partner so I was expecting a change. I have been assigned her mother, which by coincidence is the wife of the couple for whom I work. So while I will miss Lyndzee, I will get regular updates and I still have an awesome partner in her mother.

I went down to the Primary room to see if I was needed to cover the music. Phone calls had been made but nothing was ever finalized. Music was covered but as I headed back towards the adult Sunday School class, I noticed that Aaron's class was without a teacher. So I went back to the Primary room to check with their teacher's wife as to whether or not he was at church. He wasn't so we found a manual and I subbed for that class. We had a pretty good discussion about President David O. McKay and the importance of family relationships and the examples of parents.

In Relief Society we were taught about provident living. At the end of the meeting I bore my testimony. I appreciate the opportunity to do this on Fast Sundays in Relief Socity because I often don't get up in Sacrament Meeting usually because I'm being distracted by children.

Well, I have promised the kids that I will finish this up and go swimming with them. It's after 8:30 and I want to have them in bed by 9 so I'd better get going.

Little Known Facts About Me

2009-07-28T13:19:00.000-07:00

I think these are fun to answer, mostly because when I go back and read my answers months and years later, it is interesting to see what has changed and what stays the same.

1. What time did you get up this morning?
8:30 am

2. How do you like your steak?
medium rare - pink center, not red

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
The Harry Potter movie (Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince)

4. What is your favorite TV show?
I haven't been watching much TV but I do enjoy law-centered shows like Law & Order, CSI, Boston Legal

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
Phoenix in the winter and Colorado in the summer

6. What did you have for breakfast?
I don't do breakfast.

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
Mexican

8. What foods do you dislike?
spinach and liver

9. Favorite Place to Eat?
It's closed now, but really like Abuelo's

10. Favorite dressing?
Depends on the salad. Thousand Island for Seafood Salads, Italian for Garden Salads, Ranch for Chef Salads

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?
1991 Cheverolet Suburban, 2004 GMC Sierra, 1994 Toyota Pick-up

12. What are your favorite clothes?
t-shirt and jeans...comfortable clothes

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
Europe - especially Scotland and Greece

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
Depends on how thirsty I am

15. Where would you want to retire?
Upstate New York or my own island in the Carribean

16. Favorite time of day?
late night when the house is quiet

17. Where were you born?
New Mexico

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
hockey

19. Bird watcher?
Not really

20. Are you a morning person or a night person?
night

21. Do you have any pets?
one dog

22. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
I was asked Sunday if I was pregnant. Apparently Cierra shared with her primary teacher that she gets to name the next baby. I'm not pregnant. Just thought you ought to know.

23. What did you want to be when you were little?
a teacher

24. What is your best childhood memory?
family camping trips/vacations

25. Are you a cat or dog person?
actually I prefer fish

26. Are you married?
Yes, just celebrated 7 years in June (except we both forgot so maybe celebrate isn't the right word)

27. Always wear your seat belt?
No, but most of the time.

28. Been in a car accident?
yes, but nothing serious and it wasn't my fault

29. Any pet peeves?
stupidity (different from ignorance)

30. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
I like them all!

31. Favorite Flower?
dandelions

32. Favorite ice cream?
anything with caramel

33. Favorite fast food restaurant?
Taco Bell or Arby's

34. How many times did you fail your driver's test?
passed the first time though I did have to retake the written once in Oregon

35. From whom did you get your last email?
REI

36. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
I would never be so irresponsible to max out my credit card.

37. Do anything spontaneous lately?
Yeah, I got my first pedicure.

38. Do you like your job?
It's a fun change

39. Broccoli?
better fresh than cooked

40. What was your favorite vacation?
Going to Legoland with the boys

41. Last person you went out to dinner with?
It's been a while, so probably Neil

42. What are you listening to right now?
The hum of the computer and children whining

43. What is your favorite color?
purple and green

44. How many tattoos do you have?
none, but I would love to have a dragon going up my leg from my ankle to my knee

45. Coffee Drinker?
nope

Week Ending 7/26/09

2009-07-26T18:59:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy week, which has been good. Lots of good and bad news which I think evened out in the end.

Monday we checked email to learn of the death of our good friend, David Hibbert. Neil sent out messages to those he was in contact with from the "old ward". I love how they always refer to it as such even though the ward changed names, boundaries, and faces multiple times. I took Aaron and Daniel shopping and then Aaron went to spend the rest of the day with a friend. Neil picked up Derek and took him shopping. While they were out, he got the phone call from Chase offering him employment in their Collections Department. We are excited that he has a job and even more excited that it is with Chase. He will have his employment history back along with immediate benefits.

Tuesday I had an appointment with WIC with the little girls. This involved getting their fingers pricked to check iron levels. They were not happy with me. But we got through it and both girls qualify. After that appointment, we went to the library to exchange materials and pick up the last of the reading program prizes. I had a meeting with a scouting friend to help her with the upcoming Wood Badge Reunion Dinner then went to the viewing for Brother Hibbert. It was odd to see the body lying there. I'd never been to a viewing before and can't say I want to repeat the experience. Not even at my own funeral. Neil, of course, knew most of the family and friends in attendance. I knew the people from the ward and a few others that are in the stake. His friend, Alec Smith, came over from New Mexico, and stayed the night with us. The kids have decided that he should be an uncle - he is pretty cool.

Wednesday I attended the funeral for the mother of another sister in the ward and Neil and Alec went to the Hibbert funeral. We received school supply lists in the mail so we put together backpacks for Daniel, Nick, and Cierra and made a list of those things we still needed. We swung by the school to drop off some paperwork, went by the bank, and ran a couple of other errands before picking Derek up. We then went shopping for the needed school supplies and other stuff. Later that night, after Neil had taken Derek back, he and I went shopping for groceries and thwarted an abduction.

Thursday I actually sat down and worked on the surveys. I got them all coded and got some swim time in with the family as well. Friday I tried to enter the information online, but was thwarted by the system. Found out it wasn't anything I had done so that made me feel better. Neil made dutch oven cobblers for the pioneer party at the church and we all headed over for that about 6 pm. We had some good dinner and Neil and I danced a couple of dances together. Note to future entertainers - do not follow the Virginia Reel with a waltz. It doesn't matter how much you love your partner, nobody wants to get that close to a sweaty body. Neil danced with me anyway.

Saturday we slept in and then did some housework. Neil took the older boys shopping (seems like there was a lot of that this week) while I swept and mopped floors. I also dyed my hair and it is now a purplish-red. I've gotten a lot of compliments on it so I must not have done too bad of a job. Then I went and hung out with a friend just to have some alone time. She introduced me to pedicures which I highly recommend to everybody.

Today we attended church. We had some great talks on the savior and the plan of salvation. I skipped Sunday School as I had to stay late in the chapel picking up the cereal pieces Rachel dropped on the floor right as the closing prayer was being said. I went and sat in the back foyer while I waited for Relief Society to start and ended up having a fun conversation with the second counselor of the bishopric. He was having to fill out a questionnaire for BYD tonight so I learned a bit more about him. He also became privy to a couple of embarrassing quirks I have. He's become a reader of my blog so he's aware that I have multiple quirks - most of which could be considered embarrassing.

We had a great lesson in Relief Society as Sister Bentley introduced me to the world of Family Search. My mother has done so much of our family history so I have taken to just sitting back and enjoying not having to do anything without the guilt. But I am interested in seeing what my mom has done and figure out if there is anything I can help with, such as temple ordinances.

After our 3-hour session, we dropped the kids off at home and then went to the Granite Reef ward to attend the farewell address of a boy who should still be 11. Seth has grown into a handsome young man and is excited to head off to Guatemala to serve the Lord. He is the third son to go and has had two excellent examples of missionary service in his older brothers. The Price family is dear to our hearts and we love the opportunity to go visit them and the rest of the GR Ward. We always get asked when we visit when we are moving back. We're not going anywhere until the house situation is finalized - which at this point could be September but of which year is hard to say. We are not in any hurry to move - mostly because the house is a great fit for our family and I despise moving. It is easy to see the benefit our children would have being in a ward where there is an active youth program but also easy to sum up the strong influence our children have in a ward where the youth program struggles for numbers. So for now, all I can say is we are here until the Lord decides he needs us elsewhere.

Have a wonderful week.

Goals and Plans

2009-07-24T11:33:00.000-07:00

The deaths of this past week have me thinking. I suppose it is common to become introspective at these times as you hear of the contributions of those now gone. It is not unusual to consider what you are contributing yourself and determine what type of memories you want to have shared at your own funeral. I don't expect mine to come for quite a while. I come from a long line of lively women.

My great-grandmother Bingham lived well into her 90s. I recall spending the summer between my junior and senior years of high school with my grandmother in South Carolina and my great-grandmother was bed-ridden at that time. She must have been sick because I knew she was there but there were no conversations or interactions with her on my part. My grandmother McNeil is now 93 and though she has had some bouts with cancer, she is still fighting. I had actually hoped to get out to visit her this summer but with the job situation, we had to delay. I'm hoping she'll still be around next summer.

My mother is 74. She had a double hip replacement about 10 years ago and I think it made her even more active. I hadn't thought that was possible. So given the long lives that are still being lived in my family, I plan on being around for quite a while longer. This begs the question of what kind of life I want to live.

I admit, I want to be rich. I don't necessarily want to have fancy cars or big houses, but I want to be able to be involved in activities with my family that will help provide those memories which they will relate at my funeral. I'd like to travel. I want my children to be familiar with historical sites; to stand in the Sacred Grove and feel God's Spirit; to see the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and stand in awe of those who serve our country; to visit Mount Rushmore and breathe in the grandeur of such talent.

My children are growing up quicker than I'd like. My oldest starts high school this year and it won't be long before he is driving, dating, graduating, going on a mission, getting married, and having children of his own. I can't wait to be a grandma. I can, but I'm looking forward to that experience. I have never been close with any of my grandparents. Most of that is due to distance. My grandfather McNeil died when I was 8. My grandma Gardner passed away 4 years ago. My grandmother McNeil is still on the east coast and my grandpa Gardner is a 12-hour drive away. There are distant memories of Thanksgiving dinners and Christmas mornings at G&GGs as my dad's parents are fondly known. Time with my mom's family was limited due to the distance, but I am glad they made the effort to get us out there every few years.

I consider the grandparents my children have. Distance is a stumbling block to close relations. My parents have never stopped being parents as they have been left to raise the children of my youngest sister, who was a child herself when she started having babies. Grandpa Taggart passed away not long after Neil and I married and so none of the children really got to know him. We loved when Grandma Janet lived here in Phoenix though we probably didn't take advantage of that time with her as well as we could have. Now that she is 3 hours away, our time with her is limited. We always feel like an invasion whenever we travel anywhere - this is where being rich would come in handy. We could either buy a travel trailer or just stay in motels. We could fly instead of drive.

So I want to be an awesome grandma. I want to be the cookie-baking, airsoft-shooting, trampoline-jumping, spoil-you-rotten grandma everyone loves. I will not own yappy dogs or any cats. I will go camping and fishing. I will not make you eat all your vegetables. You can have dessert even if you didn't eat all your dinner. I will break all the rules I ever set for your parents and I will override their rules when you are at my house. I will always love you and you will always know it.

Books I Have Read

2009-07-23T19:11:00.000-07:00

The BBC believes most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here. How do your reading habits stack up? Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen X
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien X
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling X
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee X
6 The Bible X
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell X
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman X
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

Total: 7

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott X
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare X
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien X
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

Total: 3

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell X
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald X
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams X
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh (saw the movie - didn't know there was a book)
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck X
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll X
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

Total: 5

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens X
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis X
34 Emma - Jane Austen X
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis X
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hossein
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres3
9 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne X

Total: 5

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown X
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan

Total: 1

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel X
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen X
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafo
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens X
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Total: 3

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck X
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas X
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville

Total: 2

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens X
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker X
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett X
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Inferno – Dante X
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
280 Possession - AS Byatt

Total: 4

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens X
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White X
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom X
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle X
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton X

Total: 5

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery X
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare X
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl X
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo X

Total: 4

Grand total: 39

Maybe we ought to consider this list for next year's book club selections.

It Takes a Village

2009-07-22T21:28:00.000-07:00

Neil and I did some late night shopping and were headed home to unload groceries. It was just shy of 9 pm and as we are approaching our street, we see a little girl, about 7 or 8 years old, on a scooter on the sidewalk. A gold car is next to her and we watch as there appears to be some conversation, then the girl gets into the car. It's probably nothing, but it doesn't look right. Neil reads off the license plate number and we begin to follow the car. It heads south to Thunderbird then makes a right turn, heading west. We follow. The car switches to the left lane and we do as well. Right before 56th Street, the car switches back to the right lane and heads north onto 56th. We pursue. The next light is Acoma and probably the last street we are willing to allow the car to turn onto to return to the neighborhood before we call the police. The car continues north and I dial 9-1-1.

The operator asks for the emergency and I tell her what we have witnessed. We continue to follow the car which continues north past Greenway and pulls into Horizon Park. We are aware that there is a police station located here and pass this information on to the operator. The car pulls to a stop in front of the station and Neil pulls alongside. The driver rolls down her window and questions why we are following. We explain that we had noticed the little girl getting into her car and were concerned for her safety. Relief hits us all as she explains that her daughters were being unruly so she was going to make them walk home. One had already gotten out, but when the mother saw our vehicle stop, she convinced her daughter to get back in the car.

The operator has overheard the conversation and is probably trying to keep from laughing, grateful that there was no abduction after all. We all are.

Being the Better Person

2009-07-22T18:43:00.000-07:00

I faced a conundrum. Two people had died and funerals were being held on the same day at almost the same time - close enough that I couldn't attend both fully. One person was the aforementioned "great man" who has been an important part of my family's life. The other person I had never met but was the mother of a sister in my ward. I can't claim that I have known this sister well or for very long - about the same amount of time as we have been in the ward. To most people, the choice would be obvious - go with the one you know. In fact, the information I had received via email was this:

The Viewing for Br. Hibbert will be this Tuesday night from 6:00 pm - 8:00 pm at our building. The Memorial services will be Wednesday at 9:00 am also at our building. Bishop didn't tell me, but I know the burial will be at the Mesa Cememtery. They may want just family to attend there - I don't know.

Unfortunately, Patty's mother's funeral will also be on Wednesday at 9:30. There is no way the date can be changed for either. I just wanted to pass that information on too.

Obviously, the expectation was that members of the ward would go to Brother Hibbert's service and send Patty love and support some other way. This just seemed like a dismal expectation and highly unfair to Patty. Now, to be clear, Patty totally understood that members would attend Brother Hibbert's service and was not bitter nor upset by the circumstances. However, I decided to be the better person and show dear Patty that her loss was just as important. Besides, Neil would represent our family at the Hibbert affair so we weren't completely abandoning the ward's expectations.

Not knowing how long it would take me to drive to the church where Sister Wear's service was taking place, I brought along a book and my MP3 player. I arrived a half hour early and was so proud that I'd thought ahead enough to have my own personal amusements on hand. The family had arrived earlier to spend some time together mourning and reminiscing. Feeling somewhat out-of-place, I sought out Patty for direction on where I should wait. I gave her one of those arm-around-the-shoulder half-hugs which indicates I'm there for her - up to a point. I received a full-body embrace from a lady who was grateful for my appearance and took much more from my offering than I had intended.

After some small talk, I extricated myself from the room and went to wait in the chapel. As I entered the chapel, I noticed boxes of tissue on a chair. I passed those by, knowing I am not really a cryer and certainly would not be expected to shed tears for a woman I had never met. I found a spot, not too close to the front or back but where Patty could see me and glean additional support if she needed it. I glanced over the program and settled in to read my book. At the appropriate time, I prepared for the entrance of the procession then settled back into my seat along with the family.

The service was a typical service - family members shared experiences and memories. Musical numbers were performed. The bishop touched on the plan of salvation. Tears were shed and laughter erupted. Somewhere along the way, I was transformed. My laughter joined in, my eyes became wet, my brain kept smacking me for ignoring the boxes of tissue. I came to better understand who Grandma Betty had been and was saddened that I could not have known her better. I truly felt the loss that Patty and her family had experienced and am so grateful that I was allowed to participate in this final memory of Grandma Betty's life.

At the end of the service I sought out Patty once again. This time the hug was a full embrace and I was the one who received far more than what was intended. I truly became a better person.

When Great Men Leave Us

2009-07-20T20:02:00.000-07:00

It is not often that one gets to rub shoulders with a great man. Most often you are not even aware of their presence on this earth though there are a few who are noteworthy enough to get mentioned in the paper or on television. Some leave a mark on your personal world through coincidence but occassionally, there are a few whose influence affects you to the core.

Being away from the computer and normal social circles, we came home from Thatcher to learn of the news of the passing of a great man. It was not unexpected - he had recently become extremely ill as his body fought off a cancerous invasion. But it was only two weeks prior that he had stood in Sacrament Meeting to bear his testimony and there hadn't appeared to be a significant change in his appearance nor his demeanor. He has always looked like an old cowboy and acted as ornery. Truthfully, I haven't known him that long. We moved into the ward shortly before Rachel was born so my association with him has been less than 4 years. However, he has been well-known and well-loved by my husband and his family for years.

You may be wondering why he ranks as one of the great men in my life - especially for having been a part of it for such a short time. He was who I needed him to be at a time when I struggled with church leadership. He made no excuses for his beliefs or his actions, though he was tactful enough not to offend intentionally. He never made me feel like I had to apologize for my feelings or frustrations. He accepted me for the outspoken, bone-headed, obstinate woman I am and found ways to help me turn my weaknesses into strengths.

As I hear and read about others feelings and tributes of this man, I have come to realize that he wasn't the same for everybody, but he was what everybody needed for themselves. There is no way to describe why exactly he was a great man. The truth is, you're either great or you're not. He was.

Visiting Grandpa

2009-07-20T18:58:00.001-07:00

Cierra has been bugging us to go visit grandparents this summer. She has been particularly concerned about visiting Grandpa Taggart who died just a few months before she was born. We think it may have been triggered from her visit to the Veteran's Memorial Cemetary when we helped the scouts plant flags the Saturday prior to Memorial Day. She insisted that Grandpa needed a flag. So as we prepared to go to Thatcher, she made sure she had her flag and we promised she would get to go visit Grandpa.

Saturday afternoon we headed over to the cemetary. Grandpa had been cremated and a burial lot had been purchased. There is no headstone yet, but one is planned as soon as the estate is truly settled. We keep thinking this will be the year only to get last-minute paperwork. 2010 is looking good.

Uncle Ian showed Cierra where Grandpa is buried, Dad poked a hole in the ground, and Cierra planted the flag. Next time she wants to take flowers.

Week Ending 7/19/2009

2009-07-20T18:23:00.000-07:00

It is definitely summer in Arizona. It is too hot to do anything - even sleep. It doesn't stop the kids from sleeping, which is nice because I can get so much more done when they're not awake. This week has been relatively boring, but we did enjoy a nice mini-vacation this weekend.

Monday I started training for a job which will allow me to work from home. It is mostly data entry and I am excited to be busy and bringing in some money. While at training, a man came in and said hi. I had one of those moments where I recognized the face and the voice but the name and the "why I know him" data eluded me. Once he left the room, I asked my trainer his name and everything clicked. I actually know his wife better than I know him and it had been a couple of years since I had seen either of them. After I finished up training, I ran by the library and switched out books and movies and picked up some of the kids' prizes for the reading program.

Tuesday I went back for some more training and then ran some errands before coming home. Aaron had scouts that night so I took him to the church then stopped to visit one of my VT sisters. She wasn't there but I chatted with her mom who was previously on my route. It was nice to catch up with her.

Wednesday was a clean the house day and I took Aaron and Daniel to see the new Harry Potter movie. It was good but disappointing on some of the changes between the book and the movie. Aaron spent the night with a friend and Daniel and I drove home in a lightning storm. Neil had a counseling session with Alyx and then they went and got something to eat. She indicated that she didn't feel a need to keep going to counseling but rather felt she and Neil could work things out on their own. This is good news at least until she has to convince her mother of the same. We'll see.

Thursday we got things ready to go out of town. This included having the alternator and battery replaced in the suburban - at least it died on us at home rather than on the trip. Neil met with Chase's employment services and we found out today that they have extended a position to him. There is some paperwork and background checks to get through first, but the nice thing is that his start date would be within the year of his termination and so he will start back with his 12 years seniority and 3 weeks vacation.

We left Friday morning to go visit Neil's brother and mother in Thatcher. We got in there about 12:30 and got the kids settled. We then worked on lunch for everybody and just spent time visiting. Saturday we got up early and went up to Mount Graham. Their ward had had a campout so we made it up there in time for breakfast and then just stayed up in the cool air hiking and playing games. We came back into town and treated the kids to snow cones. Cierra and Rachel chose ice cream cones instead and ended up wearing those more than they ate them. Nick had a cherry snow cone and spent the majority of the time trying to keep the ice in his cup or mouth with the result of red-stained hands. We have learned to travel with wet-wipes in the car at all times so we cleaned them up as best we could then headed back to the house.

Sunday was church - they have the 1:00 session. Nick and Rachel fell asleep during sacrament meeting and Cierra had a meltdown when she went to primary. Nick woke up in time to go to primary but I ended up taking Cierra and Rachel back to the house where I packed up bags in preparation to come back to Phoenix. Everyone else got back shortly after 4 pm and we pulled out leftovers for dinner. We spent some more time just visiting and I went back to mom's to finish up a puzzle Aaron had pulled out and we had started Saturday evening. We ended up not leaving until almost 7:30 but we had no time commitments so enjoyed the trip back watching the lightning flashes. The little kids fell asleep and Aaron, Daniel, Neil, and I enjoyed silly and fun conversations.

Once we got home, we got all the kids to bed and put in a movie to fall asleep to. Although I had not seen the movie, I was tired enough that I was able to fall asleep quickly. Now on to a new week.

Facebook

2009-07-15T16:14:00.000-07:00

I had relegated Facebook, MySpace, and other similar sites into a "For Teens" category in my mind. When Neil and I staffed on Wood Badge earlier this year, I kept hearing of how everybody was on FaceBook and/or MySpace. Then I kept getting invites to join Facebook. In an effort to keep such spam at bay in my inbox, I joined. Little did I realize that I was now going to get inundated not just by other requests for friendships, but inane comments posted to the Wall.

I have accepted friends from high school, family, previous wards, and online parenting groups. I have accepted friends who I have not talked to in real life in over 20 years, and some to whom I've never actually spoken to. I did draw the line when I received a request from my ex-husband. I figure that if he hasn't bothered to have a real relationship with me or his children since 1999, there's not much reason to pretend to be friends on line.

The relationships between my "friends" and me are not any better now that we are linked on this social website. I have come to realize that many of my high school friends have never graduated mentally. Those who I have met online only through parenting groups remain enigmas - although thanks to the multiple quizzes, I have been given glimpses of which decade they should have been born in and the names they should have been given at birth had their parents had the technology available to them that we now do. I am still related to family (whether I like it or not) and realize that I still rely on their blogs and emails and phone calls to get the full story. The only area where Facebook rules over other websites is that I have more confirmed friends (44) there than I have followers (3) here. Given all the other factors, I prefer this anonymity.

The Evil Picture

2009-07-14T20:02:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to clean the kitchen. The three little kids are running to and from a duck game on the counter in an obvious effort to drive me nuts. It's working. I finally bark at them to quit running and then glance up to see them all seated on the hearth. Wish I had my camera. Rachel has clapped her hands over her ears in an obvious attempt to drown out my ranting. Cierra has her hands over her mouth as she has just shoved potato chips in and is trying to keep them from falling out. Nick is rubbing his eyes with his balled-up fists. See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil. Should I be offended?

Speak - By Laurie Halse Anderson

2009-07-13T20:37:00.000-07:00

In an ongoing pursuit of learning and knowledge and having something in common with my children, I often read books from the Young Adult section. "Speak" is a required reading assignment for Aaron to complete prior to the start of 9th grade English. After requesting a copy from the library, I found the audio book so checked it out. He listened to it and when the actual book became available a few days later, I snuck off to read it before handing it over to him.

This is a short book - less than 200 pages - written from the viewpoint of a 9th grade female who begins the year unliked by her peers. Although the writer does not clue you in immediately as to why she is an outcast, clues are given and the reader can figure out the unwritten details. The majority of the book leads the reader to believe that the main character has quit speaking other than inside her head. She doesn't participate in classes and is perpetually late or absent altogether. By the end of the book and the end of the school year, she is able to find her voice and report her tragedy, but it takes a very long road and it really isn't that well traveled.

I personally had a hard time buying into the story. It's a sad, tragic tale, but not in just the obvious way. I am working on the assumption that she was fairly popular in middle school and had a normal circle of friends, including one BFF. The turning point is an end-of-summer party at which she ostracizes herself by committing a horrendous social faux pas. She calls the cops to the party and now everybody hates her. Her reason for calling the cops is what causes her to cease speaking.

Here's my problem: If I had a daughter who was socially active and engaged in normal teenage activities who overnight closeted herself in her room and quit talking, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't let things go for a whole school year without questioning this major change. I would be calling her BFFs parents, talking to counselors, consulting family and friends, and dragging in home drug-testing kits. Yes, this girl's parents are having marriage issues (who doesn't) and they both work outside the home (been there, done that). But she's an only child. I have 7 and I can still guarantee that I would notice if one of them communicated with me only through written notes.

I can't wait to talk to this teacher to determine why this particular book was picked. It probably has something to do with symbolism and foreshadowing - it certainly can't be for intellectual stimulation.

Week Ending 7/12/09

2009-07-12T21:02:00.000-07:00

The new schedule is not working well. I am still sleeping in later than I would like and the kids are being lazy as well. But we'll keep on trying. We are still making it to church on time so we're not complete failures.

Monday Neil did some job hunting at Chase and I worked on packing up stuff and sort of cleaning along the way. Tuesday Neil and I both went to a job fair that ended up not happening so went to the temple instead. You can read of my skirt-shopping exploits in a previous post. It was good to be back at the temple, especially since we had talked about going sooner and it hadn't worked out. Neil held his scout meeting while I focused on finding the floor in my bedroom.

Wednesday was more cleaning for me and Neil went to a job fair which did actually happen but was not very promising. We were supposed to get the carpets cleaned which is why I was looking for my bedroom floor, only to have the people show up and tell me that they were not a carpet-cleaning service but were actually demo-ing a particular brand of carpet cleaner in hopes of making a sale. Given our current situation I told them that they would not be making a sale no matter how good the product and they left the house saving us all from two hours of sales pitch. It would have been nice if they would have cleaned that one stubborn spot in the dining room as a good-will gesture, but such is life.

Thursday I cleaned up the little girls' bedroom which has since been destroyed. This isn't really unusual. Neil went with Derek to his final swim meet and finally got home around 10 pm. Friday I took a break from cleaning and worked on organizing the piles of papers that have been strewn across my bedroom floor. Neil took Derek to the church for a scout campout with his mother's ward and I dropped Aaron off at our building to go participate in baptisms for the dead. Daniel hung out with some neighbor boys and ended up spending the night there. Aaron got back from the temple only to go spend the night at a buddy's house and so it was just me, Neil, and the little guys. We tried to convince them to spend the night in their own beds, but they snuck in at some point and re-strewed my piles.

Saturday I refocused on the piles - still have a couple that I just don't know what to do about. They're not critical, but they could become so. I think I'll just bundle them all up and shove them in my bedside cupboard. At least they'll be off the floor. Trick is to remember what I did with them when they do become necessary. Neil's mom was in town and stopped in to visit. She bought us pizza. The little girls were convinced they were going to get to go home with her and spend the night. They were disappointed when they realized she was leaving without them. We're planning a trip there next weekend so hopefully that will make them happy.

Today was church. We got there on time (early actually) and marvelled at the emptiness of the parking lot. It shouldn't be surprising - anyone with brains and capability leave Phoenix for the month of July. We made it through the sacrament portion and past the musical number before Cierra had to go to the bathroom. We had just come back to the foyer when Neil appeared with Rachel in tears. Apparently Nick had attacked her. While trying to console her, Aaron appeared with Nick so he got to sit by the couch, Rachel was on my lap still mooing, and Cierra was pouting because she no longer had mom's lap or attention.

Neil and I taught in primary then Neil met with the mother of one of his scouts to review what he had accomplished while Aaron met with the new teacher's quorum advisor regarding his position as Varsity Team Captain and also with a merit badge counselor for his Personal Management. He just needs to get a blue card filled out, meet for his scoutmaster's conference and have a board of review and he will be Life. Then it's a few more merit badges and a project and he should have his Eagle by next summer. He could do it sooner, but I want him to be able to focus on his school work without trying to cram everything in and get lost.

My visiting teacher brought by a watermelon and the kids have been bugging to cut it open. That'll have to wait until tomorrow. We don't have enough room in the refrigerator right now so that'll have to be a project to work on tomorrow. It is now almost 9:30 and I didn't get my afternoon nap. I start work tomorrow so I probably ought to get to bed so I can be there on time.

Flakes

2009-07-10T14:07:00.001-07:00

I got a message today from my dad. My cousin's marriage is off. They went to the courthouse to get the license and her fiance bailed. I can't imagine the pain and confusion she is feeling now. My heart goes out to her and I hope that this experience doesn't sour her on marriage.

How do you recover from this? The invitations have been sent, friends and family are ready to show up at the temple and reception, gifts have been bought - it's quite the embarrassment I suppose. What must people be saying? Hopefully very little and hopefully what is said is in support of her. But what do you say to someone who has been jilted like this? At least she found out now? At least it wasn't across the alter when he decided to say no instead of yes? At least she doesn't have to go through a divorce? At least there aren't any children involved? Nothing really seems right, does it?

I can't say I've been overly close with this cousin. I know she is one of three girls and I think she's the youngest. Her oldest sister has been married for a while and has at least two boys. I don't know if the other sister has gotten married or not. It's not because I don't care, I do from a distance. I am one of the oldest of the cousins on my dad's side and she is probably a good 10-15 years younger than me. We have a lot of cousins - my dad has 4 siblings. There are 7 kids in my family, 3 in hers, 3 in another, one aunt has a lot - I lost track after 5 - there could be 7 or 8 (one died young) and the youngest uncle has at least 5 - maybe 7.

Her family was out on the east coast while I grew up in NM. We knew they existed and saw pictures, but relationships aren't well-built on such minimal contact. The truth is, I was actually trying to figure out if our family could go up for her reception. Neil really wanted to go though I think the draw for him was spending time with his brother and getting out of the heat of Arizona. I'm actually a bit sad that we didn't go, though I wouldn't have gotten my dad's message and would still have shown up for the reception to find, what? I don't know, but I am more sad that I made excuses than I would have been had I found myself in the position of facing my little known cousin with nothing more than a hug and a heartache.

Lost in Austen

2009-07-08T18:38:00.000-07:00

We had a carpet cleaning scheduled for this afternoon. They would clean two rooms so I chose the dining room and the master bedroom. They have the most carpet. The dining room was easy. We had cleaned it yesterday in time for scouts and it was still in a reasonable state of clutter-free. I did have to re-vacuum, but that's not really surprising. The master bedroom was a different story. It has become the catch-all since nobody is allowed in our room outside of family. It's a fairly big room. It holds a queen sized bed with a headboard which has cupboards on either side of the bed, a couch, a dresser, a chest of drawers, two desks, an exercise/weight system, a table, and a bookshelf. That doesn't include the walk-in closet which holds boxes of books, knick-knacks, future Christmas/birthday presents, camping and hunting gear, and clothes. The room has become overrun with scout stuff, church stuff, school stuff, sewing stuff, computer stuff, and stuff which has no clear category but must be kept nonetheless.

In an effort to be more organized, I have been packing boxes according to category. This works rather well when all the stuff of a category is together and can easily be transferred from a pile to a box. This is not the case in the bedroom. Piles have been moved multiple times and categories have oozed and mixed amongst themselves. So today I must bring order to chaos and must do so before 3 pm when the carpet cleaners are due to arrive. Since I will be spending the day in the bedroom, I throw in a movie. For those who have been paying attention, I do not particularly care for Jane Austen's books yet I find myself drawn subconsciously to movies about her and her works.

I grabbed this movie because it had a good cover and a catchy title. It never occurred to me that Austin was spelled wrong and that this movie was not about Texas, but Jane herself. Well, sort of. The basic premise is a modern English gal is visited by Elizabeth Bennet (Pride & Prejudice) through a previously unknown portal linking the Bennet's attic and Miss Price's bathroom. Of course, Miss Price is an Austen fan and has spent the last 14 years of her life in love with the love affair between the Miss Bennet's and their various beaux. Thrown into their world while Lizzie takes on 21st century London, Miss Price finds there is more character to Austen's characters and is both distressed and anxious when the country society doesn't match up as depicted in the book. Jane doesn't marry Bingley and Charlotte leaves to be a missionary in Africa. Who gets Mr. Darcy? You'll have to watch the movie.

T - 1

2009-07-08T18:30:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the scheduled sale date for the foreclosure on the house. Our realtor has been talking to them every day. He called this morning to basically say nothing new but that he was to call back in the afternoon. The afternoon call comes and we have been given a 60-day extension. What that means is we now have two months to stay in the house, continue to search for jobs, search for somewhere else to live, continue to pack up all the stuff we aren't going to need in the next six months but want to keep. It is possible that in that 60 days the bank will accept the offer and we will have some additional time for the house to close. They may accept the offer but the buyer will be long gone investing in something else. That will give us additional time to market the house and hope for another offer. Bottom line is we have some breathing room, but don't want to breathe too much.

Dressing Up

2009-07-07T19:55:00.000-07:00

There was a job fair today. I dressed to impress - black slacks, white and red blouse with a black belt. I did my hair - nothing special, but a bit of gel and a hairdryer beats the normal air-dried look I go with. I printed out 20 copies of my resume. Neil mapquested the address and off we went. It took a little time to find the place. Mapquest likes back roads rather than the obvious route. The place didn't look like a job fair location, but in we went. There was no job fair today. We did get to hand over a resume and received a business card with the business' web site.

All dressed up and no where to go. Neil makes a comment that if I had worn a skirt instead of pants we could go to the temple. We had planned to go last week, but never made it. Probably my fault. It's too hot to sleep at night and too hot to drive during the day. But we're already out and instead of allowing my choice of clothing affect the ability to go to the temple, I suggest we go buy me a skirt. Desert Industries is on the way. I go quickly to the rack with black skirts and choose two to try on. Neil has disappeared. I go to the dressing rooms. First skirt is long and silky. Not silk silky - more like a rayon/lycra blend. I'm liking it until I turn to the side. Long skirt comes with a mile high slit. Were I not wearing garments, this would be a sexy feature. I don't love everything about my body, but I do have great legs. However, there is a difference between a flash of pale skin and a flash of white leggings and sexy quickly turns to weird. Next skirt.

This one is shorter but still knee-length - appropriately covering the garments. It also has a slit. Two actually - one in front and one in back. But they are modest slits and glancing at myself in the mirror, I am convinced this will do. I change back into the pants and head off to find Neil. I swing through the dress racks and he finds me eyeing an animal print with a v-neck. He is carrying two dress shirts, blue cub scout shorts, two khaki scout shirts and is torn over two eagle scout neckerchiefs. I tell him to ditch the yellow dress shirt while I try on the dress. He exchanges the yellow shirt for the eagle neckerchiefs and I get the okay on the dress. I'm ready to leave - he wants to go see the "stuff" section of DI. I remind him our goal is the temple. It'll just be real quick.

It's not and it came with some movies and a Primary CD-Rom. But we're finally checked out and I'm switching from the pants to the skirt in the truck. Bonus of owning a lifted truck - you can change and still have privacy. We get to the temple and I realize the huge mistake I have made in buying this skirt. I never walked in it and as I walk, the front slit now exposes the very clothing I tried to avoid when I nixed the longer skirt. I am instantly uncomfortable and embarrassed. I walk with my purse in front of me. I am now smacking my legs into my purse with every step and am still uncomfortable.

Since we hadn't planned on going to the temple, we have to use the temple's clothing. Not a big deal - I've done it before. We are asked if we will do sealings. Not a bad idea to be reminded of the covenants I made seven years ago. Once we are in the sealing room, we are instructed to put on the packet clothing. The veil stumps me. It's not the style I'm used to and as I stare in the mirror, I know it is wrong, but cannot for the life of me figure out how to make it right. I ask Neil for help. He's a guy. He doesn't wear a veil and he tells me I look fine. A sister comes into the room escorted by a female temple worker. She knows it's wrong and quickly comes over to aid me in setting things right. She whispers that it happened to another sister and the male workers were unable to assist. Like me, they knew it was wrong, but clueless on how to make it right.

I guess I shouldn't be so concerned. It is after all, just clothing. I'm not intentionally trying to be immodest or clueless. But in the future, I shall wear a dress or skirt and carry my temple bag - just in case. For now, I'm happily back in jeans and a t-shirt.

Slug Bug White

2009-07-05T20:41:00.000-07:00

Yes, we play the slug bug game, but without the slugging. Aaron has long been teased for the ghost slug bugs he finds which no one else sees. He's a bit competitive. We actually had to ban the game because it was leading to fights. We're still not allowed to play on Sundays. The older kids don't usually play at all but the game is back on.

Nick: Slug bug white!

Rachel: Slug bug yellow!

Nick: There's no yellow slug bug.

Rachel: Uh huh.

Nick: No, you made it up.

Rachel: No, I made it down.

Powers of Observation

2009-07-05T17:04:00.000-07:00

You know, you think you tell your kids things. Sometimes I work on the assumption that if I know something, so do they. Take this whole bishopric change. We had been told by a couple of people of the change and I thought in telling Neil, I had also told the kids. Imagine my surprise when Daniel turns to me this morning and asks when Brother Bloom became the bishop. I could've sworn I'd mentioned it. But then I realize I must've been working with the principle of osmosis and assumed that what I knew, he did as well.

Did you know that Tweety Bird is a boy? Ummm yeah - doesn't everyone? Apparently this is another piece of information I had neglected to pass on to my children. And I didn't realize that families all across the nation were having dinner conversations based on the gender of cartoon characters and I'd been committing a social faux pas. Truth is I don't watch cartoons (much) and since the advent of DTV, I haven't been watching television at all. By the way - Magenta is a girl but Blue is a boy and any true Blue's Clue's fan will tell you that the show is ruined now that Blue actually talks. Actually true fans will tell you the show took a turn for the worse when Steve left for college and left Blue in the care of Joe (nice kid, but he obviously has a fear of commitment).

I can only imagine what else I've neglected to tell my children, but some things I guess they should be able to figure out for themselves. So I didn't feel too horrible about the lack of communication regarding the bishop when Daniel's next question was if Brother Hibbert had died. (for those unaware, Brother Hibbert had been the 1st counselor in the former bishopric). Rather than respond at all, I simply pointed to the row ahead of us where Brother Hibbert was seated clearly alive.

Week Ending 7/5/09

2009-07-05T16:51:00.000-07:00

Summer has hit Phoenix. We were lucky that most of June was relatively nice especially being out in the sun for day camp. Now camp is over and we are trying to get the kids back on a regular schedule. Last week was a transition week as we tried to convince our bodies that we no longer had to stay up until midnight. We actually made it to church on time today so it must be working.

Speaking of church, we've had a change in bishopric. Our new bishop was the previous 2nd counselor and having worked with him through the various callings over which he was my mentor, I am still having troubles calling him "bishop" rather than by his first name. It also doesn't help that he looks like he's 15 years younger than me and my perception of him is more of a younger brother than the father of our ward.

I never thought I was resilient to change - in fact, I was always wanting to move a lot when I was younger and thought it rather unfair that my father had chosen a profession with the state rather than the military. And I don't think that I am necessarily against this change but I realize that I am having the same difficulty in transferring titles as I was after President Hinckley died. I still have to do a mental process to see President Monson's face when somebody mentions "the prophet."

Anyway, as far as the highlights of last week - we've mostly focused on packing up those things we aren't using and getting rid of those things we haven't touched for the past 6 months (or longer). The little kids got a little crazy and started packing up their rooms. Nick was hard-pressed to find clean underwear since he'd packed all of his clothes. We don't have much of an update on the house. Our realtor has been talking with the bank and the bank has accepted the package authorizing the short sale and the paperwork has actually been assigned to an underwriter. However, the foreclosure sale date has not yet been stayed and no word on whether or not the bank is going to accept the offer. We'll talk to them tomorrow and at the very least push for a stay on the foreclosure. But it still leaves us in quite a bit of limbo. We still have no income and we have no idea when we will have to move. Nor do we know where we will go when we do have to move.

What I do know is that the Lord has a plan for us so we continue to be proactive in the job searching and trusting the rest to Him.

On Marriage: Let's call the whole thing off

2009-06-28T18:05:00.000-07:00

This is not actually my title - it is the title of an article found on MSN today. The author has determined to end her 20 year marriage. She had an affair and decided she didn't want to put the effort into falling back in love with her husband. The article, though, is more about whether or not marriage is still relevant. Apparently, marriage made sense 100 years ago when much of the world was agricultural and a large family was neccessary for the success of the family business. Today though we have Merry Maids, landscaping businesses, white-collar jobs, and fast food restaurants. Single parenthood isn't so unusual - in fact it's probably become the rule instead of the exception. And procreating isn't really a necessity either.

Some people shouldn't have children. I'm probably one of the them. Ask my mother. My sisters were the ones who wanted large families. My oldest sister was going to have 20 children - adoption was part of the plan. She has two - a girl who just turned 16 and a boy who will be 18 in August. In my mind's eye, they are still 7 and 5. Me, on the other hand, ended up with a total of 7. Actually 8 if you count my husband. Most days I do. I think I'm a good mom. I've seen worse. I've heard of better, but can't say I've actually witnessed any super-moms.

Religiously, I had to get married to have kids. Realistically, I'm a much better mom than I am a wife. I admit it's nice having a second set of eyes and hands around to manage the kids but not necessary. Besides, I have a 14-year-old son who can be that second set pretty well. What does that mean for me? I'm not sure yet. I believe in the institution of marriage but not because of how it works to my advantage in this life. I don't buy the whole "in love" thing either. It's nice to have that, but there has to be more. Being "in love" isn't sufficient for the marriage to survive.

I want a partner and I want to be a partner. It's nice to be loved, but I want to be respected and honored and trusted. I want to be relevant.

Week Ending 6/21/09

2009-06-21T16:19:00.001-07:00

First, Happy Father's Day to all those who have contributed so fully to the generations who followed. My own father was a great example to me growing up of how to be strict, yet forgiving; firm, yet kind; demanding, yet giving. No wonder I'm so wishy-washy.

I was going to write last week but was just exhausted from day camp. I'm still exhausted but we skipped church (missed both alarms and had no kids to rally us from our beds) so I'm now somewhat more conscious.

The past two weeks have been focused primarily on Cub Scout Day Camp. We love the program but it does get hard on us and the children. Cierra in particular is much more prone to fits and tantrums than normal. She's also got that independent streak that causes her to know exactly how to get under my skin at the most inopportune moments. Neil has been working at the BB Gun Range while I split my time between the pool and watching the Mowglis (staff children).

We continue to search for jobs with no luck. I've applied to DES for assistance and am hoping to hear back from them soon. We've heard nothing from the bank regarding the offer on the house so I will call tomorrow morning. The kids have excitedly begun to pack up their rooms. I'm not sure where all the excitement comes from but I know there will be relief to be out from under the responsibility of this mortgage and can only hope the Lord sees fit to provide for us before we are forced to live out of our vehicles.

Week Ending June 7, 2009

2009-06-07T21:20:00.000-07:00

We're into day camp - full swing. So right now my life is getting up, getting things packed up, leave for day camp, spend 9 hours at the Heard either at the pool or with the Mowglis (staff day care), come home, put the kids to bed, crash out.

Nothing real exciting this past week other than we filled out all the paperwork for the house short sale and sent it to the bank and Derek turned 14 on Thursday. That was roundtable night so Neil stayed home with the kids while I went to day camp by myself. He had a counseling appointment with Alyx which seemed to go fairly well. Derek leaves for camp tomorrow, Aaron got home yesterday.

Church today was okay I guess. I got berated by the mother of the other teacher for not bringing the bread again but when I told her that we were having a busy month, she told me she didn't want to be involved, that it should be between her son and and Aaron. So either she wants to be involved or she doesn't. Not really sure. And at the moment I really don't care. I told her I couldn't commit to bring bread for sure because of the house situation and she finally walked away. I then broke down in tears and my friend who witnessed it all comforted me.

We were actually late for church - in fact probably would have skipped if it wasn't for the fact that Neil has to teach primary. And we decided to let the kids stay home and sleep in so Neil and I made it in time for the primary portion. I thought I was helping him teach - but it doesn't start til next week when another class' teachers are out of town so we're covering that class along with Neil's. The president felt it would be better to team teach rather than have me teach one and Neil teach his own because of some of the kids' in that class. It's a larger class and having two teachers helps maintain order.

We got home, got some food for the kids and then took a long nap. We just finished up scripture reading and the kids have had their showers for the night. Time to go back to bed.

We got an offer on the house

2009-06-04T11:47:00.001-07:00

It's not a great offer, but then again, we're not going to see any of the money anyway. I don't know if the bank will accept the offer or not, but again, not really a big concern. What is good about the offer is that it will most likely defer the foreclosure while the bank decides what they want to do with the house. As I best understand it, they would rather accept an offer than go through the expense of a foreclosure. So we could be here until mid-July or we could be here through October. There is some fear in the unknown. Without a job, how are we going to find another place to live? Who will rent to us without any income? And yet, I know it will be okay. I don't know how, but it's not the first time in my life the Lord hasn't made me privy to the details. I could probably ask, but I think there is a part of me that doesn't really want to know. And of course there is the concern that I will get the answer I've received in the past - it's not pertinent for me to know. You want to know why I believe in a Heavenly Father - it's because I've had so many of these experiences where I get an answer, just not the one I want. I think He looks at me as the perpetual teenager. And having a teenager of my own, I somewhat understand why.